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MadeMyOwnDrum
USA
7 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 04 2018 : 10:49:29 PM
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Hello AYP! First time poster here!
I learned transcendental meditation at age 11. I practiced regularly off and on for 12 years without a check-in, and became very adept at some gross misunderstanding of the technique. I developed a panic disorder, stopped meditating for 10 years, and ended up taking many anti anxiety and anti depression medications.
I also had what was likely a premature crown and/or kundalini experience caused by substance during that period of misunderstanding TM.
I finally checked my TM about 10 years ago now, and got back into regular practice. When I discovered AYP a few months ago, the recognition of truth in the words sent me straight into a crown experience, igniting my entire nervous system, and initiating one of the most intense panic attacks I have experienced in 15 years of a panic disorder.
I am reducing my medications now under a doctor's guidance. I'm doing I AM meditation preceded by spinal breathing, and usually a few sun salutes and/or tai chi standing meditation for grounding.
I have been permitting attention to the crown, with great results in pure bliss consciousness, but just recently read some advice not to interact with the crown without an established "root to 3rd eye" ecstatic conductivity. Since my conductivity on that string is not all that strong or consistent, and that idea is fairly new to me, I decided to follow the advice.
I tweaked the process of DM to include a boundary where attention on the crown was considered the far side of a ditch, where I'm keeping attention between the ditches. I've only had one DM session with this in mind, but feel totally cut off from bliss consciousness by that change in technique.
So, how do I apply the bumpers to my practice in a way that does more good than harm?
I should mention that I began kechari mudra in stage 1 within the last few months as ecstatic conductivity called from the nervous system there, but that conductivity is localized for me in the back of the neck to the sinuses.
I have a significant blockage in my chest, that is related to cigarettes, which I quit 3 months ago. I am worried that I an headed for a panic event much like user Stillpool described, and hope I may ride it out as smoothly.
Sorry for the ramble and spewing of information, but I felt like I had to post something here.
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Edited by - MadeMyOwnDrum on Jan 04 2018 11:22:37 PM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2018 : 05:32:16 AM
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HI MadeMyOwnDrum, welcome to AYP
You are blessed to have come across yoga so early in your life. It sounds like a bit more knowledge about practices and the steps we go through in our journey is just what you need at this point in time. Keep reading the AYP lessons. There is such a lot to learn from them.
quote:
Originally posted by MadeMyOwnDrum
I should mention that I began kechari mudra in stage 1 within the last few months as ecstatic conductivity called from the nervous system there, but that conductivity is localized for me in the back of the neck to the sinuses.
I have a significant blockage in my chest, that is related to cigarettes, which I quit 3 months ago. I am worried that I an headed for a panic event much like user Stillpool described, and hope I may ride it out as smoothly.
I would say you need to focus on cleaning the sushumna and stop focusing on ecstatic conductivity for now. It will inevitable happen with practices, but getting attached to results in a hindrance to progress.
I would suggest you focus on meditation and spinal breathing for a while. That should clear up some of the blockages. Later on you can think of adding kechari. If you are going to follow AYP, it is best to adopt the practices in the order Yogani has introduced them. After spinal breathing, there are Mulabandha and Sambhavi Mudra. Also you need to be preparing for Siddhasana. Kechari is further down the road.
In AYP, with the exception of solar centering, we do not localise the mantra. It is better to let it go where it needs to (that will be where purification in needed) without interfering with the process. That is why solar centring is introduced in the later lessons. By then the practitioner is able to make a decision as to its timeliness.
Enjoy your practice and the lessons. I hope you will post again and let us know how you get on.  |
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uniath
Finland
30 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2018 : 08:41:18 AM
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Hi MadeMyOwnDrum & BlueRaincoat,
I personally had quite a strong awakening, including automatic kechari and crown experiences from early on. I can truly understand that graving for blissful and ecstatic experiences. Well, who wouldn't want those? Especially when you've already had a taste. But it is important to understand that as we already have some imbalances, bringing more energy is likely to intensify those - sooner or later.
Focusing on crown tends to bring a lot of energy up in the nervous system(usually in a delayed manner), and same goes for kechari as it stimulates higher chakras as well as overall purification. With practices like that, it is unlikely that purification can go on in a balanced manner. Especially when bhakti is strong.
When is the time for kechari and crown practices?
Kechari is a very individual thing. I honestly don't think that there can, or even should, be a rule for that. It is called from within(as you've noticed) and we all have our own unique journey. As we advance in kechari(combined with a strong spiritual desire), other mudras and bandhas will be triggered from within as an automatic response. Then we truly come to see the connectedness of these yoga practices we've been doing and/or reading about.
Yogani has written some insightful lessons on how to deal with the crown chakra, so it might useful to read those to understand how crown relates to everything else. If you haven't already.
In my experience, time for crown is when there is next to no friction in the nervous system and everything is felt as an increasing ecstatic bliss(euphoria). Even still, going too heavily on the crown tends to bring instability in daily life, especially as crown is also stimulated by other practices(especially kechari).
My specialty has been to go over my limits with crown and kechari related practices. Oh boy, does it feel good.. but it tends to backfire quite easily  So, I would suggest to find balance first and more practices later. BlueRaincoat has already given great advice as to how to go about that.
Toni
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2018 : 10:00:16 AM
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| Uniath. |
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MadeMyOwnDrum
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2018 : 12:17:22 PM
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Thank you so much for responding!
I do see the need for some bumpers on my practices, especially in the context of uniath's pointing out my seeking of ecstatic conductivity.
Ecstatic conductivity is a term I only learned a few months ago when I came to AYP, but apparently I discovered it as a teenager in Transcendental Meditation, in small spots. In my naive, arrogant immaturity, I directed my attention during meditation to heal a shoulder injury from playing american football, and had my first ecstatic experience in healing that shoulder. That spot still is an easy hotspot for that type of feeling to arise, and kriyas pass through it during heavy cleansing, near but not through the sushumna heading up the spine. I noticed that, if I used all of my concentration in misuse of skills I learned in meditation, that I could intentionally create this feeling in my body in a few places along and near the sushumna. So I did, for many years, until I started having panic attacks.
One of my doctors noticed that all of the symptoms of my panic disorder appeared near the vagus nerve in my body, headaches, chest pain, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, heart palpitations, stomach problems, etc.. Now that I've found AYP, I understand what that means in terms of the driver's seat of my spiritual path. I created some nasty imbalances by misusing my knowledge, and paid the price for it. (That really makes me wonder what is under the hood between the sushumna and the vagus nerve.)
So I'm now trying to move forward without making any new imbalances that I will have to deal with. I've read the main lessons up to about lesson 120, and have re-read some of them, and will continue reading. My current practice includes Zhang Zhuang, sun salutes, 5 minutes spinal breathing, and DM for 20 minutes. I've been doing this for about 3 months, waiting for DM to settle down before making any more changes. Then I read last night that Yogani calls Sambavi a safe place to go with ecstatic conductivity, so I am implementing that today.
I've learned to listen a bit to my inner guru, but I don't yet fully trust him to know the difference between what is truly the correct path, and what I know to lead directly to ecstatic conductivity. This makes my choice with regard to kechari mudra most difficult. When I was in my 20s, a martial arts instructor told me to place my tongue on the roof of my mouth during meditation. It was easy enough, so I started doing that. Much later, a therapist for my panic disorder (a very experienced, non AYP meditator) taught me much about grounding, and told me to keep my tongue on the roof of my mouth during meditation. The therapist told me about kechari, and I didn't believe in it at first. After enough reading, and a discussion with a doctor about kechari, I tried a meditation with my tongue flexed back to the line between the hard and soft palates. Holy $#%&! And the knowledge of kechari mudra is born into my body. Now I want to reach back to the soft palate when I drive, when I'm bored, sitting at work, sitting in a meeting, whenever I can. In DM, I allow the tongue to gently rest on the roof of my mouth, making no effort to reach back unless the nervous system pulls on its own.
So where should I put the bumpers on kechari? Never touching the roof of my mouth is out, but I may be able to use some willpower to stop kechari while driving. Kechari during standing meditation? During pranayama? Is it ok to gently rest the tongue on the roof of the mouth during DM? Is it ok to actively reach back with the tongue outside of practices? |
Edited by - MadeMyOwnDrum on Jan 05 2018 12:27:03 PM |
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MadeMyOwnDrum
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2018 : 1:08:10 PM
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Quoting BlueRaincoat: "If you are going to follow AYP, it is best to adopt the practices in the order Yogani has introduced them."
I wish I had known of AYP years ago, before learning many of the concepts out of Yogani's order. Now that I have found AYP, I hope to use the knowledge here to bring balance to my practice. However, I came to AYP with a very strong but unbalanced practice. Rather than drop things that I have learned out of order, I am hoping to bring them into a new, balanced practice. I know I have much more reading to do, and I want to type out the entire story of my practice, problems, insights, signposts, and items of interest from along the way, but I'll keep my excited rambling to finding balance in my current practice for now.
It feels so amazing and comforting to finally join the discussion and start finding balance here! Thank you all! |
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Dogboy
USA
2207 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2018 : 2:25:08 PM
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Welcome MMOD
Feel free to lay out your experience(s) on this thread as you go; you clearly write well and when you settle down with AYP practice, it would be great to see that timeline right here where you started.
AYP DM will solidify the discovery of inner silence, the yin of escatic conductivity yang. As I've progressed these past four years with AYP, three with EC, this balance tips back and forth and when I recognize which I am experiencing within any given moment, I feel AYP has given me the knowledge and tools to reestablish the equilibrium.
Your current practice appears stable, with the exception of overdoing ketchari; I would save kechari for meditation, until weeks of stability anyway; DM is a good place for energy absorbtion. I am confident by finishing the lessons your inner guru will be confident and of better service to you. As BR said, you are fortunate at learning yoga young. Your spiritual vessal has a real head start. Taking the stable AYP path means you have all the time to stroll, be the tortoise not the hare. If you learn nothing from AYP than how to self pace, you will come out way ahead. Pay attention to the Samyama chapters, for there you surrender outward which, for me feels very internally balancing.
Energy can be summoned by simple intent, for me anyway, and needs to be leashed. When the leash is slack, I tug at it and play; if the leash is taut and uncomfortable, I ground ground ground. DM allows me to marinate daily in silence. When things feel to energetic, I often will inquire "but where is the silence?" And just by asking I am rewarded with an answer.  |
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uniath
Finland
30 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2018 : 12:39:55 AM
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A basic rule of thumb for doing kechari during DM(and eventually samyama) is that it is fine to do as long as it is not a distraction to the procedure of DM/samyama itself. It might get distracting with more ecstatic conductivity rising, especially when going beyond stage 1.
If you're doing kechari outside of practices, it might be more difficult to measure what is causing issues if imbalances do arise. So, I would be cautious with that. Kechari is much more powerful in conjunction with sitting practices, but if we've a habit of doing it for extended periods during daily activity, it can be a cause of instability.
After you're more familiar with AYP and ecstatic conductivity, you're in a better place to say if doing kechari outside of practices is appropriate. Most likely it will vary from time to time - depending on the level of purification happening.
I feel a bit hypocrite to advice against doing it, because I would've personally just shrugged off such an advice. When bhakti is strong, it is strong. But still, I would heed to advice previously given. Find stability in your AYP routine first, at least for some weeks. See how you feel in daily life. There's truly no hurry.
quote:
Originally posted by MadeMyOwnDrum
Is it ok to actively reach back with the tongue outside of practices?
This is how I used to stretch my frenulum, so that I was able to do all stages of kechari without any cutting. I still do it to go deeper in stage 5(which is not part of my sitting practices, I just want to make sure there are no physical restrictions when inner neurobiology is ready for it). Whenever the frenulum gets tender, I let it heal and continue some other day. I don't recall reading about this stretching technique anywhere, so it is likely that there are anatomical differences to the extent later stages of kechari can be accomplished this way. It has been more like an inner guru thing for me, which started as an automatic yoga.
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Uniath.
Good ol' Bodhi
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Understanding maturity of crown
