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lotusp
India
15 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 30 2017 : 06:55:56 AM
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I am 34 years mail from India and I visited this site after it being recommended as good sites in Ennimo Nimis FAQ section. From around 3 years I read this site's post but never posted as I considered myself very less educated in front of you spiritual giants.
I had 7 years of experience of intense masterbation from 2007 to 2013 with my 2-3 girlfriends for around 2 hrs each masterbation. After that I used to feel weak and difficulty in standing.
I became fedup with life and started meditation in 2013 , immediately I felt great and need of carnal pleasure reduced but still I continues masterbation for half hour daily.
I felt so great in meditation that eventually I became stronger and stronger and completed many ardous journeys to Amrnath etc.
My prctice involve SRF energization exercise than nadishodhna than 100 rounds talabya than hongsau than OMKAR than mahamudra than 72 kriya breaths than yoni mudra after that 30 mins gazing at around third eye in mirror . I did not join any organization.
all above procedure took 1.5 hrs morning and 1.5 hrs evening and I was on top . As I became more purified I in last six months completely left masterbation and did sex only once in 15 days. Now here problem started , after around six months I feel heat at base of spine , which I ignored as I was reading AYP from 3 years and knew this happens.So than heat increased to my ears as well and evantually now i hear a ringing in my ear similar to tinnitus. Also I have heart palpitations now everyday specially in first half of day.I feel so fatigued that as I stand only for few minutes my mouth become dry and I feel like fainted. I never had any heart issues etc. I am performing my job as software engineer with grt difficulty now as I feel fatigued and cant stand.
I backed off and tried only spinal breathing and hongsau (kind of DM of AYP) but symptoms did not stop . So as per christi suggestion for other persons I althogether stopped practices but still its 4 month now before I stopped , I eat heavy diet , I walk for 2 km everyday . I am feeling little better but still how long would it go ?? When can I resume practice ?? As I still have heart palpitations and cant stand for more than few minutes ?? I will rather die than stopping yoga as it gave greatest high of my life , paradox is when I was doing wrong things there was no phsical problems as I stopped masterbation and reduced sex to once in 15 all things started , are god with people of purification or not ??
I never did alcohol or drugs and I am married, sorry for long post but I had to tell everything .
I know these are repeated kind of queries but still if someone can help here , specially yogani or question is too trivial for him to pitch in ???
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2017 : 08:32:03 AM
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The yogic high must translate into a variety of settings, from solitude and intimacy with our lovers, to social situations and our broader community.
It sounds like you are trying too hard to keep it contained within a small sphere. Go out and meet some new people, and I don't necessarily mean "spiritual" people. I recently started playing disc golf, and really like most of the people that I see out on the courses.
Also, have you ever hugged a tree, literally? Grounding isn't just some mechanical process of beating oneself into submission or limiting practices. It's about making love to the elements: earth, water, air, fire, and akasha. Our body is a composite of those five elements, so the more we interact both inside and out, the more familiar and harmonious the whole picture becomes.
Creativity is also key. If I wasn't writing often and playing guitar, I'd be in bad shape. Fortunately, activities like that also translate into bonding with both new and old friends/family. It's about sharing. Yogani has said: We don't so much "get" enlightenment; we give it away. An outpouring of divine love.
Loosen your grip, relax, take it easy. You're already divine.
P.S. I've never found any spiritual giants in AYP, not even Yogani. I've just found a lot of little people trying to make sense of this mystery and have some fun in the process.  |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2017 : 08:40:10 AM
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P.S.S. There's probably even good opportunities in your software profession to socialize and connect further.  |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2017 : 08:42:28 AM
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| Welcome to the forum Lotusp. The road to excellence is always under construction. Perhaps you can walk more than 2 KM. Do voluntary service in the community. Take up gardening maybe. I am sure others will give more suggestions. |
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lotusp
India
15 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2017 : 09:29:35 AM
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Thanks Bodhi for replying :)
Certainly I would try being more in nature with trees(although no tress in my soceity, only parks) and I do chat a lot and socialize but in office only (probably it is not socialization than  ). My only concern is when will I come back to practice its already 4 months and I long for practice , bhakti stirrs , even if I talk 1 minute about god sensation goes thorugh my spine . Irony is when I was doing wrong things I was physically grt now when I reduced bad things , there is catastrophic overload . Will I be ever able to rejoin yoga practices, generally on average how much time is needed for self pacing on an average although it will vary from individual to individual, as its frustating me to wait ????
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2017 : 10:17:25 AM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2017 : 5:24:47 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by lotusp
My only concern is when will I come back to practice its already 4 months and I long for practice , bhakti stirrs , even if I talk 1 minute about god sensation goes thorugh my spine . Irony is when I was doing wrong things I was physically grt now when I reduced bad things , there is catastrophic overload . Will I be ever able to rejoin yoga practices, generally on average how much time is needed for self pacing on an average although it will vary from individual to individual, as its frustating me to wait ????
I've had to back off certain practices at times, and the timeframe is always pretty wide when it comes to different practitioners, due to all the variables and uniqueness. Weeks, months, years...it's all relative.
The inner guru will guide you in what to do in lieu of practices, or when to re-start practices on a smaller scale. My main point was to emphasize that there are plenty of other things to put energy into, and you might find newfound ecstasy and satisfaction in daily life, rather than merely in private practice sessions (which are meant to enhance daily life anyway, and not intended to be end points in themselves). Life itself is The Practice.  |
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lotusp
India
15 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2017 : 05:56:38 AM
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Thanks Bodhi for this insight. I got your points. Surely, would try to go out of my cocoon and live life as an enriching practice .
Service also is a good thing as you suggested, but find difficulty in seeing these opportunities , for e.g. beggars I don't trust as they generally after taking money enjoy it with alcohol or drugs and otherwise I find people having no difficulties as such.
Community / NGOs also I think do for their own money, so where is opportunity for real service ?
And Yes I consider people like you, yogani, christi , shanti , tibetan ice etc as spiritual giants because their experiences are towering ( like star, lights , sound , obe, astral, samadhi,breathlesssness ) and mine are just little bliss and some ecstacy in spine . I know we should not compare experiences neither am expecting those expereinces for myself but when you read those great things I feel humble for myself. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2017 : 11:27:37 AM
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Hi lotusp
All the stars, lights, sounds and the rest are worth little compared to one's ability to see how one can serve.
A beggar will be asking for your money and it may be that money is what he thinks he wants. But can you see what it is he needs? If you invited one to share your meal one day and if, over that meal, you listened to his story, I would be touched more deeply than if you came here writing about countless visions.
Have you asked any charity if they need volunteers to work directly with people in need? |
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lotusp
India
15 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2017 : 2:09:12 PM
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Hi Blueraincoat,
Yes listening to pain of someone and sooth it would be much deep than any of experience. Point well taken . My only concern was that in India there are hugh gangs of people who has many children and old age people on red lights deliberately ask for money and than misuse it as part of racket.
There giving them money will not help them in long run. Even inviting them for meal would be risky as they do some thefts and crime as well.
My point to dig deep was that everyone says about serving, where is real opportunity to serve where there is no middle man involved and help would genuinely help sufferer?
Yes asking for direct help to a charitable institution is one option I have not explored and would give it a try. |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2017 : 8:29:39 PM
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| 5 years ago, I used to have a similar attitude to beggars like you. One day, I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer say that even if you can't help financially, at least mentally give them a blessing, wish them well. Some of them might be genuinely in distress who knows? Many people are in prisons convicted wrongly. Can you offer them solace and words of comfort? Maybe you can go and teach meditation classes there. Yogani says till the whole earth is not enlightened, even our individual enlightenment is incomplete. Find an issue you are keen on solving and go do that in whatever way you can. By the way, Ramana Maharashi also would say that sometimes higher beings do come in the form of beggars. On his birthday inparticular, he would personally stand out and make sure that all beggars and sadhus were fed well. |
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Dogboy
USA
2195 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2017 : 10:36:30 PM
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Good points, Jusmail.Lotusp, a good place to start is soft eyes and an upturned mouth.  Send out the fruits of your practice samyama style, as in the Radiance sutra. Opportunities for service come upon you daily, great and small; try to recognize them and follow your heart! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2017 : 12:33:25 AM
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Yogani has said that the best kind of "service" or karma yoga is something that comes organically and honestly, rather than as a moralistically imposed behavior that is contrived to feign spiritual advancement.
For me, the question is not so much: How can I save the world and cure people of their suffering? Rather, the question is: How can I generate ecstatic bliss and slide into my natural niche, where my talents and skill set are creating a mutually beneficial relationship for all parties involved. In other words, I like to be in win-win scenarios.
Even with intense competition, it can be good karma yoga. Competition can drive us towards enlightenment, so long as the competition is in line with the higher principles of stillness in action and divine love.
Taking an anti-suffering stance is not nearly as effective as embarking on a pro-bliss trajectory, in my opinion.
It's not about being selfless. It's about being sacredly selfish (to paraphrase Paramahansa Yogananada). To see and feel Self in all; that's the key. You are me. I am you. We are One (and Zero ). |
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sunyata
USA
1506 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2017 : 08:41:21 AM
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Hi lotusp,
Good advice from all. Drop into the heart, let go of the mind chatter. The heart knows where to flow.
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lotusp
India
15 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2017 : 11:44:19 AM
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Thanks jusmail , yes its a good insight to send positive thoughts mentally as they say that there are vibrations across universe even when a butterfly clutter her wing. Surely would send some positive vibes and may be will carry some fruits/meal in my car to give directly. Thanks guys for ideas.
quote:
Originally posted by jusmail
5 years ago, I used to have a similar attitude to beggars like you. One day, I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer say that even if you can't help financially, at least mentally give them a blessing, wish them well. Some of them might be genuinely in distress who knows? Many people are in prisons convicted wrongly. Can you offer them solace and words of comfort? Maybe you can go and teach meditation classes there. Yogani says till the whole earth is not enlightened, even our individual enlightenment is incomplete. Find an issue you are keen on solving and go do that in whatever way you can. By the way, Ramana Maharashi also would say that sometimes higher beings do come in the form of beggars. On his birthday inparticular, he would personally stand out and make sure that all beggars and sadhus were fed well.
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lotusp
India
15 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2017 : 11:46:37 AM
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Thanks for your reply dogboy , I would give it a go to follow my heart with smile ofcourse :)
quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy
Good points, Jusmail.Lotusp, a good place to start is soft eyes and an upturned mouth. Send out the fruits of your practice samyama style, as in the Radiance sutra. Opportunities for service come upon you daily, great and small; try to recognize them and follow your heart!
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lotusp
India
15 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2017 : 11:47:53 AM
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Thanks Sunyta to pitch in , I would surely try to follow heart rather than dubious mind
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Hi lotusp,
Good advice from all. Drop into the heart, let go of the mind chatter. The heart knows where to flow.
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lotusp
India
15 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2017 : 11:52:49 AM
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What a stand Bodhi Tree , Your words remind me of a character Howard Roark in Ayan Rand's Novel Fountain Head , where Roark as main character and architect says that greatest good is when a person does everything to his best abilities in supreme manner for himself. So ya would try to match my bliss/ectasy as a best use to others as only when I can refine my self , I can do something for someone.
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Yogani has said that the best kind of "service" or karma yoga is something that comes organically and honestly, rather than as a moralistically imposed behavior that is contrived to feign spiritual advancement.
For me, the question is not so much: How can I save the world and cure people of their suffering? Rather, the question is: How can I generate ecstatic bliss and slide into my natural niche, where my talents and skill set are creating a mutually beneficial relationship for all parties involved. In other words, I like to be in win-win scenarios.
Even with intense competition, it can be good karma yoga. Competition can drive us towards enlightenment, so long as the competition is in line with the higher principles of stillness in action and divine love.
Taking an anti-suffering stance is not nearly as effective as embarking on a pro-bliss trajectory, in my opinion.
It's not about being selfless. It's about being sacredly selfish (to paraphrase Paramahansa Yogananada). To see and feel Self in all; that's the key. You are me. I am you. We are One (and Zero ).
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2017 : 6:26:29 PM
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More like this.  |
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Dogboy
USA
2195 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2017 : 10:13:34 PM
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| You've been "whitmanned" |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2017 : 11:59:19 PM
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| Yesssss...I like that verb. Thank you, Dogboy! |
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lotusp
India
15 Posts |
Posted - Jul 05 2017 : 11:45:34 AM
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Beautiful , hardly any aspect of life and individual was untouched here.
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
More like this.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 05 2017 : 7:24:16 PM
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Exactly! He's a comprehensive writer. Casts a very wide net. Gets gritty too.
Love. Radiance. Unity. |
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