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 AYPsite.org Forum
 Tantra - A Holistic View of Spiritual Development
 Premature ejaculation
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Butters

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - May 11 2017 :  3:37:05 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hi All,

This has become a major problem in my relationship as my gf hasn't had an orgasm in a year. Can anyone recommend any tips I could use? I have tried belly breathing and slowing my breath down but it hasn't worked.

Please advise?

Edited by - AYPforum on May 11 2017 4:56:00 PM

AYPforum

351 Posts

Posted - May 11 2017 :  4:56:00 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement
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Charliedog

1185 Posts

Posted - May 12 2017 :  6:08:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Butters and welcome,

Sorry to hear about difficulties in your relationship. Could you tell something more about your spiritual practices? Do you have a daily yoga/meditation/pranayama practice for instance?

I am asking this because otherwise this AYP forum might be not the right place to ask your question. If we know more about your practices we can advice you.

Meanwhile this lesson might give you some insights in sexual healing.

http://www.aypsite.org/T10.html






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Butters

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - May 13 2017 :  09:05:25 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I practise belly breathing daily and do some tantric breathing every now and then. I breath in deep and as I do I imagine that I am breathing inwards down below, allowing the energy to rise to my chest then I imagine myself breathing out of a hole in my chest.

Neither practises work for me so looking for some eduction??
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Charliedog

1185 Posts

Posted - May 13 2017 :  12:26:36 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank you for the info Butters, as I am female I hope some of the male readers will chime in with some helpful advice for you. You can also use the search button in the right upper corner of this page to search in the forum for older posts on the same subject.

In a mature relationship talking honestly with each other and make love without trying to reach something could be a start to sexual healing.

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Butters

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - May 21 2017 :  3:25:29 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi All,

Please respond or is there a book I can learn from maybe? Just looking t learn some exercises I can use?
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1089 Posts

Posted - May 21 2017 :  4:42:22 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
HI Butters

There are tantric techniques, but you need to establish a solid meditation practice well before going into tantra. Starting at the sex end can land you into serious trouble. Nor is pranayama (breathing techniques) a sufficient foundation for tantra.

I would recommend that you check on the meditation lessons on this website, starting here: http://www.aypsite.org/13.html
In fact, meditation in itself can do a lot towards solving premature ejaculation. Give it a few months and see what happens.

In the meantime, perhaps you may find reassurance in talking to your girlfriend about your worries. Is it very important to her that she orgasms? Men tend to worry about it a lot more than women. They also tend to project on their partners the priorities and worries about sex that they themselves have. For women a strong sense of an emotional connection is often enough to keep them strongly anchored in a relationship. There is also physical contact other than sex that they value a lot more than men. It can be as simple as touching, holding hands, caresses. Have you paid attention to these?

All the best to you.

Edited by - BlueRaincoat on May 21 2017 4:53:52 PM
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Christi

United Kingdom
3236 Posts

Posted - May 22 2017 :  10:40:44 AM  Show Profile  Visit Christi's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
I practise belly breathing daily and do some tantric breathing every now and then. I breath in deep and as I do I imagine that I am breathing inwards down below, allowing the energy to rise to my chest then I imagine myself breathing out of a hole in my chest.

Neither practises work for me so looking for some eduction??


Hi Butters,

You have received some very good advice from Charliedog and BlueRaincoat already.


The two breathing practices that you describe above are both yogic practices, but I would not consider either of them to be especially useful Tantric practices. Belly breathing is a good way to breathe in general and is useful when combined with other spiritual practices, but will not be very effective as a practice on its own. The second one you describe will tend to activate the lower centres and the heart. This could lead to and energetic imbalance in the subtle neurobiology as a whole, as the throat and ajna centres are not included. It could also lead to more energy being stored and activated in the sexual centres (first and second chakras), which could even make premature ejaculation worse rather than better.

If you are interested in learning how to cultivate sustained pre-orgasmic sex for spiritual purposes, all the information you need is in the Tantra lessons here.

There are 80 lessons in total and they will guide you through from the basics, up to very advanced stages of Tantric lovemaking.

If your girlfriend does enjoy orgasm and feels that it is an important part of being in a sexual relationship, then you learning Tantric sexual techniques may certainly benefit her. This is more of a side-effect of Tantric sexual practice, rather than the main aim. The main purpose of Tantric sex is about much more than that, as you will find out as you read through the lessons.



Christi

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Chiron

Russia
395 Posts

Posted - Jun 14 2017 :  5:13:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
The very first thing for the man is to make sure that the bladder is empty before engaging in sex because that gives a false feeling of wanting to come. Strengthen your pelvic floor. Incorporate Kegels/Mulabanda practices into your daily routine, better yet, learn to flex the perineum muscle during intercourse itself. The AYP holdback method (aka the start-stop method) is the foundation for all the other arousal/ejaculation management techniques. An advanced version of it is when you combine it with a perineum muscle squeeze and roll your hips and pull your coccyx back as far as possible. Or alternatively you can push forward as far as possible while doing the perineum squeeze and hold there, the advantage of this is that you stay inside your partner and she can keep deriving please, although, this is a bit riskier than the first variant when you exit fully. Spinal breathing works nicely during sex for relaxation, however, the breathing techniques have a much more subtle effect. It's the physical techniques that one should focus on first until you develop the sensitivity to move the energy directly. The perineum press, or the AYP blocking technique is another cornerstone technique that rewires your nervous system and shows the body a new way of functioning without ejaculation.

The clitoris glans has 8,000 nerve endings which makes it the most sensitive part of the female sexual anatomy. You can familiarize yourself with it during the breaks in intercourse when you are learning the start-stop method. Turns out females have a prostate too and there are quite a few fingering techniques for playing with the G-spot. These tips and hints may help you with the female orgasm part, although, you should keep in mind that her level of relaxation and openness to the experience plays a big part as well. Emotional and psychological blockages can hinder or reduce the level of intensity of the female orgasm, so, learning AYP deep meditation and spinal breathing could help her in the long run as well.

I wrote a small ebook where I compiled 22 techniques which enable the man to practice karezza while avoiding the dreaded blueballs effect. These techniques complement and at times overlap with the AYP tantric lessons. Only I used the terminology that is more common to sexology and sex therapy, while avoiding esoteric terms where possible, in an attempt to capture a wider audience. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071W1GZMQ

Edited by - Chiron on Jun 14 2017 6:00:47 PM
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Dogboy

USA
1289 Posts

Posted - Jun 14 2017 :  10:53:19 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Congratulations on the book Chiron
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leson30

Vietnam
1 Posts

Posted - Aug 20 2017 :  07:26:22 AM  Show Profile  Visit leson30's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Yes, it's a very good book!
quote:
Originally posted by Chiron

The very first thing for the man is to make sure that the bladder is empty before engaging in sex because that gives a false feeling of wanting to come. Strengthen your pelvic floor. Incorporate Kegels/Mulabanda practices into your daily routine, better yet, learn to flex the perineum muscle during intercourse itself. The AYP holdback method (aka the start-stop method) is the foundation for all the other arousal/ejaculation management techniques. An advanced version of it is when you combine it with a perineum muscle squeeze and roll your hips and pull your coccyx back as far as possible. Or alternatively you can push forward as far as possible while doing the perineum squeeze and hold there, the advantage of this is that you stay inside your partner and she can keep deriving please, although, this is a bit riskier than the first variant when you exit fully. Spinal breathing works nicely during sex for relaxation, however, the breathing techniques have a much more subtle effect. It's the physical techniques that one should focus on first until you develop the sensitivity to move the energy directly. The perineum press, or the AYP blocking technique is another cornerstone technique that rewires your nervous system and shows the body a new way of functioning without ejaculation.

The clitoris glans has 8,000 nerve endings which makes it the most sensitive part of the female sexual anatomy. You can familiarize yourself with it during the breaks in intercourse when you are learning the start-stop method. Turns out females have a prostate too and there are quite a few fingering techniques for playing with the G-spot. These tips and hints may help you with the female orgasm part, although, you should keep in mind that her level of relaxation and openness to the experience plays a big part as well. Emotional and psychological blockages can hinder or reduce the level of intensity of the female orgasm, so, learning AYP deep meditation and spinal breathing could help her in the long run as well.

I wrote a small ebook where I compiled 22 techniques which enable the man to practice karezza while avoiding the dreaded blueballs effect. These techniques complement and at times overlap with the AYP tantric lessons. Only I used the terminology that is more common to sexology and sex therapy, while avoiding esoteric terms where possible, in an attempt to capture a wider audience. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071W1GZMQ

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