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Herb
Canada
111 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 04 2017 : 10:35:08 AM
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As some here might know I am just trying to get back into Meditation and also looking at anything else that might help me restart a somewhat dry spiritual life compared to what I experienced from April 2012 to the fall of 2014. In other words I am just trying to find my way back to a rich spiritual life.
Leading up to the experience on April 3rd 2012 that was God Realization, also often called Self Realization by Yoga practitioners, I was studying M. Gandhi's book called "The Way to God." In this book he discussed in some detail his concept of Brahmacharya. I do not have a copy of the book at the time of this post but from memory I believe Gandhi stated that Brahmacharya included the, for a better word, "channeling" of the vital energy used for reproduction into the pursuit of God Realization.
At the time my wife and I were in our early 50's and she had recently become disinterested in sex. And that reality was having a huge affect on me. Sex had always been super important to me and, even though I was 54 at the time, my sex drive was still very strong. Cheating was out of the question for me as it is morally and ethically wrong. And from a spititual standpoint infidelity is a killer.
So when I learned about the idea of, instead of cheating or lustfully masterbating, to instead channel the sexual energy into positive spiritual things, I got real focused on learning and applying that idea!
Leading up to April of 2012, I had been learning and trying to apply everything Gandhi suggested as well as everything else I could find about spiritual practices. Gandhi's explanation on what exactly is prayer and specifically how to pray, I still find the very best advice I've ever seen. Also the channeling of the sexual energy ideas he discussed were great because that got the creative juices flowing and I was comming up with all kinds of ways to channel that energy. I was developing an intense exercise program and really focusing in on the need for selfless loving service to others as a spiritual path.
It all came to a head on April 3rd. I was fit, my diet was very, very healthy and my prayers were becoming more and more effective. Then on that fatefull day, just minutes into prayer, with my heart wide open to God and my emotions fully engaged*, it suddenly happened: I experienced the devine phenomenon Gandhi calls God Realization, also called by many, Self Realization. Although that experience lasted only seconds It overawed me. Suddenly all my doupts about the existence of God were removed by devine revelation and I was given an experience of Ecstatic BLISS that completely eclipsed anything I had ever known: better than the best orgasm I had ever had, better than anything!
After that mind blowing experience I immediately went to work to try and get more of that in my life. I stopped all lustful masterbation, and began looking for a form of selfless service called, "The Full Realization of God Through the Selfless Service of the Poor." I'm not sure where I got that exact deffinition of selfless service as Gandhi only talked about it as it is explained in the Gita "Selfless service with no attachment to the fruit." All I can say at this point is that it may have been Devinely suggested to some extent. Also my exercise and diet program sky rocketed from that time onwards. Channeling all the energy from celibate Brahmacharya freed up massive amounts of energy. And all of it was redirected upwards. Even my amazing new level of fitness I dedicated to God. I also found the drive and desire to do a lot of spiritual fasting and so, with careful diet, an intense exercize program, and a lot of fasting my body fat dropped dramatically. And I literally, at 54, had more fitness and energy than I had as a teenager or in my early twenties. And my spititual life soared! This was when my samadhi went from lower levels to very high levels. And herein lies the true value of Brahmacharya. I do not advocate this for others, but in my situation, celibate Brahmacharya was a great spring board for my spiritual life and I now can understand why it was developed in the first place.
On April 3rd I was also liberated or freed from almost all moral and ethical transgressions. This was like a second miracle for me because I grew up very unethical as far as getting angy, swearing, enjoying violence on TV, eating food that is bad for you like lots of refined sugar and salt, also all sexual lust, it was like I suddenly had a rock solid resistence to all that! Muslim's call that Taqua, the power "behind" piousness.
I was blessed in that the devine and immensly blissfull experience of God Realization that happened April 3, began, not to repeat itself, but to manifest in all kinds of different and evolving ways. And, as my spiritual practices became more and more disciplined and consistent, the experiences of God Realization became more and more frequent. By the end of 2012 I had experienced at least 50 episodes, sometimes two or three brief ones in one day. And some of them were becoming more lasting. In 2013 I had one that lasted over 3 days. In Christianity this is called entering the Kingdom of God.
Because this amazing blissful experience was better than the BEST sex I had ever had and it was happening weekly and often daily, and practicing Brahmacharya with celibacy was perceived as part of the discipline that enabled me to experience it, I left sex behind completely and gladly. Sure there were times of temptation, but I was praying hard that God would help me find more righteous outlets for sex than the lustful masterbation and temptation to cheat on my wife that I had been faced with before the first God Realization(GR) experience. And try to keep in mind that the GR was better than sex, better than life itself! During that time my life was threatened a few times by homeless criminal types at the drop in I was doing volunteer work at and I lost all fear of death and would have probably been willing to take a beating rather than show anything but love and respect to everyone.
Unfortunately my evolving Christian faith at that time did not stress, exercize, diet or even selfless service, and offers no clear program to illiminate lustful desire. We are taught simply to deny it. And that is another word for suppression. I'm sure you know where that leads. So, without any support for my Gandhian practices, no Yoga at the time at all, and only a path that I chose of more and more religion, I eventually fell back into some bad habits of lustfull masterbation, poor diet, lack of structured exercise ect ect and gradually stopped the Gandhian practices.
Now I wish to find my way back. I'm still not sure if God Realization is, in fact, the same thing as Self Realization. In Christian Theology we are taught that we must die to self, that natural human desire is sinfull and only leads to hell. That we must deny the self, suffer persecution for the sake of our faith(take up our cross) and follow Jesus. I am in no way thinking of committing apostasy by completely renouncing my Christain faith and religion. I am only looking and asking for some positive guidence to enrich it and make it all about experiecing MORE of God in my life, more Moksha!
*"Unless the emotions are engaged, you are not praying."
M. Gandhi
Herb |
Edited by - Herb on Jan 05 2017 02:01:32 AM |
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sunyata
USA
1505 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2017 : 11:27:53 AM
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Hi Herb,
Very Beautiful. 
As Yogani says to go beyond something, we have to go through it(paraphrasing). Don't be too hard on yourself. It's great to take inspiration from others but to beat yourself when we fail to meet those ideals is not wise either.
The more I practice- it feels Liberation is not about being perfect but living the truth of our heart. It does not mean being wild or hurting others either.(this you already said  )
This is only my opinion. I could be to totally wrong.
Also, going through the tantra lesson will provide more insights to your questions. Lessons start here- http://www.aypsite.org/TantraDirectory.html
Here is Jon Bellion- Human. Not a spiritual song but I'm a big fan of him and his songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk5jkxOtFiY
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Edited by - sunyata on Jan 04 2017 11:52:57 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2017 : 11:39:34 AM
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HI Herb
I read in your other post that you started mantra meditation. So you have a rich spiritual life.
If you continue reading through the lessons you will find paragraphs about experiences on the path. We greet experiences when they come and we let them go when they go. We don't seek them and we don't get hooked on them. You have just adopted a new practice. Give it time to work, read about self pacing and when the time is right, add a new practice.
I second Sunyata's advice about looking at the Tantra section. And about being easy on yourself. It will all come together in time. You are on your way.
All the best |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Jan 04 2017 11:43:25 AM |
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Herb
Canada
111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2017 : 8:41:45 PM
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Thank you, both of you. I just finished my 3rd session of Meditation and it's working beautifully. Yes I do feel that I'm on my way. There is so much love and good will here I gotta wear sun glasses.  |
Edited by - Herb on Jan 04 2017 8:59:45 PM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2017 : 04:11:09 AM
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Herb
Canada
111 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2017 : 04:43:51 AM
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Living a non self imposed celibate lifestyle I must say that I was at first opposed to the idea of Tantric sex. However, after reading some of the recent posts from Bodhi Tree and even someone my own age, Dogboy, I must conceed that there is great value in the concept.
Thank you all for not judging me for my choice of non ejaculatory celibate Brahmacharya. The truth be known, I also had a huge problem with porn for many years and maybe the guilt from that has made me scared. But now that I'm free from that addiction I must open my mind to truth.
This site helps people on so many levels. I just love you guys |
Edited by - Herb on Jan 18 2017 05:01:26 AM |
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Dogboy
USA
2193 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2017 : 11:19:53 AM
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I've come to realize that men our age have the easiest opportunity at successful brahmacharya; we are beyond "making kids" and the quantity of "marital duties" has declined to reasonable levels. The ability to use two things I truly enjoy, sexual arousal and physical fitness, in spiritual pursuit is a remarkable thing. My younger self could not imagine there was anything better than orgasm, and believe me I never thought twice about casting about my seed. I know now that directed arousal is the important ingredient, trumping the wasteful orgasm. As ecstatic conductivity becomes a natural state of being, arousal is available anytime, anywhere, without having to hide that awkward tent in your pants   . Surrendering to the inner silence that permeates this arousal, with love and devotion in my heart, One is in Divine Presence.
You have been there and back, Herb, so this is not news to you. My advice is to embrace all that comes with being human, forgive your transgressions and shame, and steer the course of your vessal toward the light. You are older and wiser, and now is your time.
Edit: description |
Edited by - Dogboy on Jan 19 2017 05:51:45 AM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2017 : 12:37:13 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy
I've come to realize that men our age have the easiest opportunity at successful brahmacharya; we are beyond "making kids" and the quantity of "marital duties" has declined to reasonable levels.
That's good to hear, because I'm still in the kid-making age, and my brahmacharya is not stellar, so I'll cut myself some slack as I progress into the middle ages. |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2017 : 12:59:49 PM
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| steer your vessel toward the light |
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Celibate Brahmacharya
