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Ace
Germany
30 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 18 2015 : 04:53:59 AM
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Hello,
There are some things in my life, that I have done and I regret them deeply from the bottom of my heart. 
Do you have any advice how I can deal with these things? I think the answer is to be the best and most loving person and treat everyone with respect and dignity in the present and future, but I just feel this huge amount of regret right now.
When I think about some things, I feel incredible sorry, but there is no way to turn back time.
Are there any practices, that explicitly aim at asking for forgiveness? Or use this strong emotion to transmute it into something good? |
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Dogboy
USA
2198 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2015 : 07:04:47 AM
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Not knowing the details, it is hard to be specific. Regret is the first step toward forgiveness, it surfaces when one lives an examined life and has absorbed the enormity of their involvement in the wrong. Asking direct forgiveness from a wronged person, if possible, is expedient. Know that forgiveness may not be welcomed or granted, but should be attempted anyway. You also need to forgive yourself over time; you have grown beyond the person you were then. This wrong has made you a better person in that regard, and "paying it forward" with kindness and respect is on target. In writing this post, you are already underway.
Specific yogic practices of self inquiry ("how do I make amends"?), and surrendering into the feelings that arise might be helpful. |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2015 : 08:23:57 AM
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By regrets from your heart, you can see on the positive side that you make progress in your practices 
As you say yourself there is no turning back in time, it is your past....
Life is an ongoing proces, while progressing we can see and learn from the past. Every moment is new and fresh and gives us the opportunity to do the best we can. What you can do with the regret is, sitting in silence, ask forgiveness, surrender deeply to the feelings of regret, really go in the feeling, the most deep you can.
For me personally writing is a great help, just write it out, let go of it.
quote:
I think the answer is to be the best and most loving person and treat everyone with respect and dignity in the present and future
Samyama can help you in his, you can start with samyama if you developed inner silence  |
Edited by - Charliedog on Aug 18 2015 08:39:01 AM |
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2015 : 3:46:04 PM
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What is done has been done you can not un-strike the bell.
Learn from this and adjust it is all you can do. Go thy way and sin no more. There is some wisdom in this.
People and movies especially pandering to the emotions are all about asking for forgiveness it makes for good drama.
If asking for forgiveness will rip open old wounds and cause another pain to sooth a guilty conscious then it is better you should keep your guilty conscious and live with your pain every single day so the mistake will not be repeated. It might make for a more careful loving person who is more attentive to the feelings of others.
When you have fully assimilated this lesson then and only then will the pain become less and you will have forgiven yourself. If it takes asking someone else’s forgiveness then you must be suspect of selfish motives for relief, allot is cultural indoctrination.
Depends on the circumstances of course but the harder and more permanent road is to confront your demons in the privacy of the personal Hell you created for yourself instead of inviting others for a repeat ride down misery lane.
Yeah have made some mistakes some whoppers in fact.
There have been times when apologies and offers for restitution were in order and made and well received and other times where all it would do is hurt someone and just modify the guilt, that would have been selfish.
There have been offers of apology that were turned into a vicious weapons by the one being apologized to and had to take the beating that came from it but I felt even worse for them because If I had just left them alone they would not have had to live through such a reaction giving me my just deserts, even worse there was the feeling of taking the superior position the moral high ground for being so mistreated in return for an apology, bottom line don't kid yourself.
Like everyone who has ever lived and participated there are regrets.
I guarantee you one thing have learned from all of them!
A Yoga practice? Yes there is it is called Deep Meditation and it will bring everything up so you can learn from it in some pretty amazing and not always easy ways.
Also right after deep Meditation confront whatever it is and give it a big hug tell yourself I am sorry and I forgive you for making this mistake lets move on now please?
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I think the answer is to be the best and most loving person and treat everyone with respect and dignity in the present and future, but I just feel this huge amount of regret right now.
With this you have hit the nail on the head and it is proof you have learned and are assimilating the lesson of the mistake congratulations it can be hard but you are doing it. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2015 : 5:09:48 PM
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Hello Ace
You have got a lot of good advice already.
I have come to see these 'feeling sorry for things in the past' as ego readjustments. I think we all have to learn to live with the thought of being subject to errors and mistakes.
I try to pay for my own by helping others where I can, not necessarily those whom I have wronged (that is sometimes not possible). I try to do it from silence, bypassing the ego. It is in silence where it all comes good in the end.
It's a stage in your journey and you are surely making progress.
All the best |
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amuhai
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2015 : 11:13:56 PM
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There is a simple solution for things that we have done in the past that we regret, and for which there is no easy restitution---ie things you cannot go back and correct. The solution : Pay it forward.
For instance -- suppose you took something from someone else, that does not belong to you. You now regret the action but cannot find the right owner to return the item to. Well, you can pay it forward---you can take something of value to you and donate to others. The currency of karma is interchangeable in time, objects, people and beings. |
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How to deal with things I regret deeply?
