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justaguy
USA
39 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 22 2015 : 11:20:58 AM
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It's been quite a few years now that I have practiced AYPs and (for a number of reasons) Self Pacing seems to be the single most important part of my practice.
Much has to do with autism and agenesis of the corpus callosum but I have major executive function issues (management-regulation-control of cognitive processes, including working memory, reasoning, task flexibility, and problem solving as well as planning and execution)
When I practice, without loading on practices I can go very deep in a short amount of time, but loose the desire and the focus to continue, or something else catches my desire and focus...then I loose ground with AYPs and come back them again later and yo-yo through the process again (and again.)
This is SO frustrating for me, out of all the practices/paths I have ever practiced the AYPs fill me with the most peace, joy, and bliss, it is usually religious forms that become my distraction that pulls me away. (people with autism and ACC always feel the need for black and white expressions of things we don't do well with grey then I start adding other practices and get derailed.
I have spent the first part of my life as an Eastern Orthodox Christian and much of my adult life as a Sikh. It is clear that Baba Nanak of the Sikhs was referring to mantra meditation, and I  Sikhism, but I have a tendency to want to get caught up in the black and white "we've got all the answers for you, you need not look any further" thinking of it (and Christianity too.)
I have, for some time been back keeping AYPs of 10 minutes of SPB and 20 minutes of DM twice daily for several weeks (again) and am already going very deep. I just wish I didn't have this obsession and compulsion with needing a black and white "give me all the answers" faith. Certainly one can follow any faith without such nonsense, I just seem to always end up back there 
I'd be curious as to anyone's suggestions/thoughts on the matter.
For the gazilionth time, I'm reading back through the lessons using Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living, and I'm convinced that self-pacing has much to do with my "failures."
Open Ears & Open Heart,
Joseph |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2015 : 2:05:26 PM
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Yeah, you're on the right track. Do yourself a favor, and use some positive affirmations that confirm you are exercising self-pacing and that you will continue to refine your trajectory. So, for instance, you can say to youself: "Self-pacing is my solution. I am getting better at it. I cannot fail." Know what I'm saying?
I use my inner ego voice as a cheerleader, and that's better than using it as a constant critic or cynic. The whole essence of "the guru is in you" is that our best resources are found within, and from within, the external condition improves.
Also, I release "self-pacing" as a samyama sutra. Without trying too much to dissect or analyze my precision position on the path, I wish for self-pacing and let stillness absorb the desire.
Inner silence amplifies subtle thought.  |
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justaguy
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2015 : 2:39:42 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Yeah, you're on the right track. Do yourself a favor, and use some positive affirmations that confirm you are exercising self-pacing and that you will continue to refine your trajectory. So, for instance, you can say to youself: "Self-pacing is my solution. I am getting better at it. I cannot fail." Know what I'm saying?
I use my inner ego voice as a cheerleader, and that's better than using it as a constant critic or cynic. The whole essence of "the guru is in you" is that our best resources are found within, and from within, the external condition improves.
Also, I release "self-pacing" as a samyama sutra. Without trying too much to dissect or analyze my precision position on the path, I wish for self-pacing and let stillness absorb the desire.
Inner silence amplifies subtle thought.
All excellent ideas Bodhi Tree, thanks :D |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2015 : 07:46:59 AM
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Hi Justaguy
I think it's not uncommon for practitioners to divert from one system to alternative ones. I see it especially in young ones, who have not had time to form a very clear idea of what their 'must have's are when choosing a method or system.
Have your previous experiences with other system loosened your expectation that a "black-and-white give me all the answers" faith does exists? I am fairly certain myself that it does not. It is your practice that will, in time, give you the answers. But if you are not convinced that you have found the right one for you, maybe trying others is just something you have to do.
What I'm saying is that your wish for black and white does not need to be fought. What you need to gain, in my opinion, is the understanding that nothing of that description exists out there. That's my two penny worth 
I like the idea of "self-pacing" as a samyama sutra, Bodhi Tree. |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Feb 23 2015 07:48:56 AM |
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justaguy
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2015 : 09:46:28 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat
Hi Justaguy
I think it's not uncommon for practitioners to divert from one system to alternative ones. I see it especially in young ones, who have not had time to form a very clear idea of what their 'must have's are when choosing a method or system.
Have your previous experiences with other system loosened your expectation that a "black-and-white give me all the answers" faith does exists? I am fairly certain myself that it does not. It is your practice that will, in time, give you the answers. But if you are not convinced that you have found the right one for you, maybe trying others is just something you have to do.
What I'm saying is that your wish for black and white does not need to be fought. What you need to gain, in my opinion, is the understanding that nothing of that description exists out there. That's my two penny worth
I like the idea of "self-pacing" as a samyama sutra, Bodhi Tree.
I agree blue raincoat, even though I understand this "rationally" it isn't something that computes with me, autistics are hard wired to want black and white experiences, "grey" doesn't compute. For a while I'm convinced "systems" don't hold black and white, then other times I'm not, consistency is so hard with autism...I guess I'll just keep trying.
Also, because I have the equivalent of a sundowning experience at night, even early evening, I tend to do my second round of SBP and DM mid afternoon, evening never works for me. It frustrates me because we are told to do it in the "early evening" but that doesn't cut it for me, my cognitive abilities have already started to decline by that time.
I'll just keep on keeping on I guess |
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Self Pacing a Major part of my Yoga
