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Anima
484 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 23 2014 : 4:14:17 PM
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Let the World
What am I trying to prove? What am I trying to accomplish? Why justify that my acceptance is not nihilism? Who cares when the result seems the same?
The more I write on philosophy, the more deluded I see its whole task to be. The cloistered academics are fearful and decadent, like spiritualists who prescribe and speculate without austerity. Both are matters of convenience in practice and as they are theory. Sophists pay for their “understanding” with the burden of others. I am given to wondering why I even try to remain in existence. I am not sad or afraid when thinking of other people anymore. I only see everything already in myself.
I feel a crushing burden of my intellect. It’s ironic that it’s my greatest vocational asset. It cannot be contained or mediated. It is so intense that it destroys any stability in my worldly endeavors. About emotion—schools called me “emotionally impaired” from grade school onward. My emotions are not impaired, or rather, impeded like those of pedestrian society. Neither is my thinking. And just because people do not understand it does not mean it’s distorted or mistaken. I am perfectly clear on how clueless everyone is.
Honesty or deception, purity or pollution, integrity or concession, are the false dichotomy of this world. And yet it will undo me. Ah, well, there are worse things.
I feel it is my penance. I will not speculate about past lives. This lifetime alone speaks of unlimited indulgences, adornments, and appetite.
People talk to me openly. I appreciate nothing less. They will not hire me. They know that I know.
If I am a stinging critic, let me be. If I am an outcast, let me be. If I am a monster, let me be. Do not try to convince me otherwise. I cannot even do that to myself. At least that space is uncompromised. That heat of darkness.
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Will Power
Spain
415 Posts |
Posted - Oct 24 2014 : 12:55:53 PM
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Let the World
