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monica20november
India
4 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 25 2014 : 12:53:40 PM
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Hope that you are doing well..Greetings from New Delhi India !
I have been through your site AYP many times and Love it..
I am 36 years Female, single residing in New Delhi India
Well I had a confusing Kundalini experience last year and am still recovering from it…can’t make much of it..am confused and a bit sad that I had to stall it, need your views
Below is what I experienced last year- 2013
In March 2013 for 9 days I had done one mala chanting daily during for a benign angel summoning Sadhana I had read over the internet..during that time I had some some spiralling sensation in my
back and heat sensation on head which stopped on own.
1) On 7th august 2013 I fasted till evening. All was normal that day till I had dinner in the evening. I felt was an unnatural heat rising within me
2) 8th aug all was normal again..but the heat was tremendous
3) 9th aug..I thought to cool myself I should meditate a bit..so I did 1 rosary mantra recitation (of a Gauri mantra which a Hindu priest had given me long ago)
4) 9th aug night I felt tremendous heat rising inside me..from base of my spine it gushed like fire to a certain point (I would say near crown chakra) as if It wanted to bear a hole in that and gush out. My feet and palms burned at a v. high temperature that night as well.
5) 10th Aug..through the day I felt immense pressure (not exactly a headache..but an unbearable pressure on a point where my pineal gland should be..). I felt a force knocking on the top end of my head (pony tail area) as if it will break it and get out. Several day after that I had the pony tail effect and could not even touch that area of head
6) 11th aug I woke up with Bells palsy on my left side - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell's_palsy
7) I visited a neurologist and physiotherapist as well now..and today have almost recovered..still I feel tired more than usual and have nerves that are tizzy and go numb at various times
8) Since I am attuned to Reiki I tried to do Reiki on the affected area for quicker recovery but as it happened and I could sense..something near my pineal gland area (something shiny inside my
head) sucked up all this extra energy I give to affected side like an energy magnet
9) On 6th Sept 2013 night..I had this strange experience. I felt during sleep my pineal gland area was sucking away some warm and electrical energy from the back of throat..my arms had numbed due to that
10) After that my already ill body is faced daily torture (gushes of warm and cool energy throughout the day esp in Chakra areas, severe anxiety, fuzzy foggy brain, daily nausea and vomiting for 2 months, intense heat and cold sweats
suddenly, right side nervous excitation, jaw clenching and feelings of vertigo)
11) And just as I am about to fall asleep again the rush of energy to my crown chakra..and crown an pineal chakra getting heavy and uncomfy
12) Around November I visited a Reiki Master who cured me a few symptoms and also helped ground My Kundalini (that I had unknowingly risen)
13) I was told by everyone I met that I have done something wrong and no spiritual progression has taken place
14) At that time I was so scared of God and could not pray even…thinking I’ll do something wrong again and meet with a worse fate
I used to feel neurotically depressed at that time and feared total loss of sanity..and visited some 8-9 doctors and had several tests done too.
But I also had a few Lucid dreams most prominent of which are as below :
1) I saw myself passing through a tunnel with a light at the end
2) I saw a pregnant colleague with me in many dreams (when I asked within the dreams what it signified, I was told by my inner mind, it represents your own new birth)
3) I saw myself in the first classroom which I had attended in my first day at school (signifying, beginning of a new learning)
4) I saw the Mother Goddess (Durga Ma) herself several times in my dream indirectly saying – you are here to help the women on earth, with respect and status
5) My mind also told me in a semi dream state that you have to die to be born again (meaning the old has to die for birth of new in terms of personality)
But I got my Kundalini grounded by a Reiki master that time..as I was too ill to handle it
Today I still feel sad, that all the Lucid dreaming, spiritual messages etc have stopped. But I thank the Lord that I have recovered almost completely.
My nerves are still healing and I am scared to meditate again. I’ve come back t square one now..complete normal life
But today I wish to know what this experience meant..what was the lesson in it for me.. (besides the obvious that don’t meditate without a guru/ and take care of your health and body). It is something I will not forget in lifetimes..I still want to know..why did it happen so aggressive and fast in me..and what did it really mean?
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Edited by - monica20november on Aug 26 2014 05:37:38 AM |
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Sol Invictus
91 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2014 : 7:43:39 PM
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Hi Monica!
You might want to read Gopi Krishna's book,"Kundalini-
the evolutionary energy in man"
He managed to activate Kundalini by meditating on Sahasrar,but didn't know what is actually going on and got him self into quite serious health situation.
As his and your story are kind of similar in some aspects i thought reading the book might provide you more insight into whole thing.Book can be found on internet too in case you don't want to get a hard copy.
Hope you will get back to some sort of Sadhana,don't let fear hold you back on your path to Moksha.
All the best!
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monica20november
India
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2014 : 05:39:11 AM
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| thank you SOL i have read the book long back actaully..his was much worse than mine |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1730 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2014 : 08:49:28 AM
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Hello Monica
Welcome to the AYP forum. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. It must have been scary, especially the Bell's palsy episode.
What did your experience mean? It's a difficult question, as different people will put different meanings on the same event. At the end of the day the meaning you give it is that one that really matters. Here are some of my thoughts in relation to your story (shaped inevitably by my own experiences).
It seems you have a strong inclination towards spirituality. The Kundalini genie wants to come out of the bottle. I think it's better to work with it and try to manage it - then it will hopefully come out in a more controlled way, causing you as little pain as possible. Why did it come out so fast in you? I think your desire for the divine powers it. I understand your sadness. I too feel empty when I feel not connected to some spiritual thread. Luckily I manage to stay right at the edge, where I can feel some effects of my yoga practices throughout the day, but not so strong as to disrupt my daily activities - most of the time anyway, occasional mishaps notwithstanding. And I think I'm getting better at it. Practice makes perfect as they say.
“Don't meditate without a guru” you say. Well, I would have agreed with you before coming across Yogani and AYP. For me waiting to meet a guru in the flesh just meant an unfortunate delay (and in the meantime my Bhakti got stronger and stronger, which made kundalini that little bit harder to manage). Waiting indefinitely to find your path is perhaps not such a good idea. I would suggest you keep an open mind about where you get your spiritual knowledge/practices from. Good teachers are rare. Even if you don't find one very soon, it would be good to still be on the look out for ways to get back to some kind of spiritual life that is safe for you and doesn't send your energies spiralling out of control.
One final suggestion: read the lessons on this website, starting from the beginning http://www.aypsite.org/10.html
Read them very slowly (one a day perhaps). As you know, spiritual reading itself can cause Kundalini movements so be prudent about it. You will find very good and clear information about spiritual practices and what each of them does (meditation is for developing inner silence, pranayama for moving the energy around etc.) There are also questions and answers about dramatic Kundalini awakenings which might help you in your search for answers.
I hope you find those answers and a safe way to fulfil your spiritual needs  Let us know how you get on  |
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monica20november
India
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2014 : 10:54:08 AM
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thank you Blue Raincoat for the detailed reply..appreciate it...you are few people who make me feel some little bit positive about what happened..best of luck with your practises and I will definitely read up on the link
I agree with you about reading fueling Kundalini since till few months back I could not even log onto this forum for reading, as I would feel the heat rising up again :) |
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What did my experience mean
