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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 25 2015 : 12:48:57 PM
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LOL. I can't stay away long. This AYP stuff is too addictive, and with you vibing back and forth with me, I can't resist. Might as well keep surrendering.  |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2015 : 02:41:16 AM
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What a trippy day.
Woke up this morning at my friend's house, asleep on her massage table, which she had provided for me as bedding. Last night we sang and danced in her landlord's huge garage, full of 5 motorcycles, 2 pinball machines, 2 other full-size arcade games, and his Great Dane, Duncan, a dog that stands waist-high and looks like a small horse.
As I said, I woke up on the massage table, and lo and behold, I was lovingly accosted by another friend who had also slept over. He began to vigorously massage my extremities, which was a nice thing to wake up to. He is a massage therapist by trade, and his style uses a lot of acupressure-like techniques, which is effective for me.
After the massage, we ate French toast, prepared by our gracious hostess, then went out into her yard. I lay down in the dirt for grounding. Butterflies fluttered about, and the sun was streaming through the tree canopy at a victorious angle. We engaged in some conversation about sexuality and the relationship between massage therapists and their clients. They are both professionals, and admitted to getting aroused at times, though always able to control it during the session. I told them how I had stopped seeking the services of a massage therapist I had been visiting for the past couple years, because my desire to reciprocate her touch was too strong. It wasn't even lust, but rather an inner sensuality that begs for union. I didn't want to have to restrain that persistent urge, so I just removed myself from the dynamic and let it go completely.
After talking, we did some Deep Meditation in the yard and felt further rejuvenated.
Then I left and went to a shamanic workshop. The workshop was interesting, because the trance exercises were very much about seeking scenery, which in AYP, is frowned upon. In AYP, we can definitely enjoy the scenery, but we don't chase visions or higher planes of existence, per se. With the shamanic techniques, there is more of a pursuit of supernormal experiences and grandeur.
The facilitator began the class by handing us all shakers, and she picked up a hand drum for herself. I thought: Oh, this will be nice, she's going to do some light tapping to warm us up. Well, the light tapping turned out to be super-heavy thumping. She was beating that drum like we were going to war! I nearly busted out laughing because I was so surprised, but I contained myself and matched her intensity with my shaker. We sauntered around in a circle for a little while, and finally calmed down.
The first trance exercise we did was aimed at the so-called compassionate lower world. All the students lay down on the floor, and she commenced with what she called sonic driving, which equated to her doing more of the heavy beating. Again, I almost burst into laughter, but instead I obediently surrendered to the rhythm and began to enjoy the soundscape.
Down into the lower world I went, spiraling down through the Earth from my spinal vortex, seeking my spirit guide. He was a bald eagle. I merged with him. I studied all the nuances of our feathers, the curve of our beak, the perfect width of our wingspan. It was a subtle, pranic image that I related to. I asked him (myself): "What is compassion?" He said: "Look it up." 
She called us back to the room by changing the drumbeat, and we shared our visions in a circle of discussion.
Next, she had us lay down again, but this time instructed us to go upward into the heavens. So I zoomed up through the solar system until I was in a place with lots of golden light, and I saw a cosmic image of my great-grandmother, who passed away about 15 years ago. She was holding the Earth on the tip of her pointer finger, like a tiny, holographic marble. And she had access to many more marbles, and they all seemed to contain omnipresent views of terrestrial worlds.
With the callback of the teacher's drum, I returned to ordinary consciousness. We discussed our revelations further, then held hands in the circle, closing with a universal prayer.
I left and got to rest a couple hours before going to work, where I am now, working an overnight 12-hour shift which will wrap up at 7:00 AM this morning. So, I will close the gap between two sunrises with no sleep between. Haven't done that in a while!
My group meditation is scheduled for 11:00 AM, but I'm not sure if I will have enough energy to make it. If not, my esteemed colleague Matthew will pick up the slack. The show must go on. This train is bound for glory.
Miracles abound.  |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2015 : 07:25:40 AM
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quote:
We engaged in some conversation about sexuality and the relationship between massage therapists and their clients. They are both professionals, and admitted to getting aroused at times, though always able to control it during the session. I told them how I had stopped seeking the services of a massage therapist I had been visiting for the past couple years, because my desire to reciprocate her touch was too strong. It wasn't even lust, but rather an inner sensuality that begs for union. I didn't want to have to restrain that persistent urge, so I just removed myself from the dynamic and let it go completely.
If it is not felt as lust than perhaps you can leave labels like sex and see it as divine love?
I wonder isn't that the real tantra, just feel all the love energy or inner sensuality and let it be? Just enjoy, and leave the wanting out of it. Not easy, but worth to try
Enjoyed reading your trippy day,
Edit: Love, strength, inner sensuality |
Edited by - Charliedog on Aug 30 2015 07:38:28 AM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2015 : 3:43:22 PM
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Good point, Charlie-D. I'll have to mull that one over. There is some grey area there. I have to feed the right wolf though, you know... |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2015 : 03:03:22 AM
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It's well past midnight. I just wrote a post about cruising down the highway, indulging in the magic of the night, and it got deleted. One little flick on the keyboard somehow resulted in triggering the back button on the browser. All my poetic rant—gone! How tragic. Oh well, it's a good mishap to diminish my narcissism. Makes me think of how the Buddhist monks sweep away their sand mandalas as gestures to honor the impermanence of life. Nothing lasts. All these precious words will also be swept away one day. But until they are, might as well relish in them!
And so, the soft darkness covers the land, and the wind touches my bare chest. It's like being kissed perpetually with speckles of granularity that breathe in and out with holographic messages and prophecies that speak of utopian futures full of grand and simple genius. The sounds of forest creatures and digital music have rendered every cell in my body ecstatic, with not a single molecule untouched. All the points are buzzing. I feel on the edge of melting, and I don't mean a mere melting of the heart, but literally, a melting of every fiber of my body, as if my entire frame could dissolve and merge with the boundless stillness that cradles the globe.
Well, I guess I managed to resurrect some of my indulgence. I can go to sleep now.
But one more thing...
Here are memories full of beauty, the feminine, the sacred, the bursting, gushing lushness of fertility, with green bundles of explosive power that emanate intoxicating scents of aliveness and paradise. |
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sunyata
USA
1507 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2015 : 07:27:10 AM
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What a drive! The beauty of being alive . |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2015 : 09:52:33 AM
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Bhakti for life! Enjoy  |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2015 : 02:33:02 AM
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Hi Bodhi,
Just would like to say that your writings really touching me. Your last posts made me aware of my own constantly begging for union. It is not sexual, it looks like it, but it is much deeper and does not stop after orgasm.
It is like begging for union with everything around, it can even be a flower, if I gaze to it. If I look inside and be honest it is more like begging for union with myself, union with life.
quote:
All the points are buzzing. I feel on the edge of melting, and I don't mean a mere melting of the heart, but literally, a melting of every fiber of my body, as if my entire frame could dissolve and merge with the boundless stillness that cradles the globe.
You can describe this beautiful, and however I enjoy all the beauty and all the k rushes in the night, sometimes I would like to vibrate a little less. 
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2015 : 03:24:53 AM
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I am Grateful,
I am happy,
I am love
I love
Alive
Amen
And Bhakta
i believe....
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2015 : 11:31:18 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
It is like begging for union with everything around, it can even be a flower, if I gaze to it. If I look inside and be honest it is more like begging for union with myself, union with life.
I know that exact feeling. Glad we are speaking the same language.
I like the simplicity and progression of your poem, and the affirmations therein. I am fortunate to share this space with you. Wishing for the vibrations to be perfectly received. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2015 : 12:47:56 AM
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This morning I met an AA friend at Starbucks. We sat at a small table nestled in a row of tables. Within arm's reach on both sides of our table were two people working on their computers.
We jumped into conversation pretty quickly. He started talking about his daily routine of contemplative prayer, in which he reads a Gospel passage, then lets his mind invent a re-creation of the scene, including conversations and character development. I told him about samyama and some of the scenery I've experienced as of late in Deep Meditation. Before long, we were laughing ecstatically and being pretty loud. I was a little concerned we might be disturbing our table-neighbors, but they seemed unperturbed and totally immersed in their laptops. Still, I wondered if they were catching a little of our non-normal banter. We got progressively deeper, so I'm sure it wasn't dull if they were covertly tuning in.
I asked my buddy if he wants to do a weekly podcast with me. He is game. He is verbally gifted, and we can easily sustain long discussions about many things. His humor is pretty sharp too, so I feel like we would do a fine job. Hopefully, we'll do the first one next weekend. That is the plan anyway.
Later in the day I went to an AA meeting and shared my experience, strength, and hope. After the meeting, I gave an elderly woman an AYP for Recovery business card. She had just left her husband of 33 years (she found out he was cheating on her), and she was obviously going through some turbulence.
At times, I wish I could snap my fingers and manifest rapid change. I would replace all the 12 Steps with AYP material, and every clubhouse in the world would have meditation as part of its daily structure. But, what fun would instant change be? Too much omnipotence is boring. We have to affect the change in momentary degrees and experience the joy of limitation. If living on Earth is anything, it's living within limitations. Nudging the limitations, testing the limitations, shattering the limitations.
Well, as I type, it is once again past midnight. I have the radio playing softly, with a classical violin pining and telling a story melodically. No words, just the musical notes. There are 7 major notes, just as there are 7 major colors. Something magical in that number.
Tomorrow morning I lead the Sunday meditation group. One step closer to building a lasting community of AYP practitioners. |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2015 : 11:59:00 AM
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| Sowing...... |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2015 : 03:28:58 AM
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My limbs are charged like tree branches, glowing electric. My hands are buzzing with nanotechnology. My feet are becoming reacquainted with the ground so that they can spring up super-efficiently.
Maybe I use too many adjectives. Maybe I should whittle it down to mostly nouns and verbs.
We all need a couple secrets, a couple aces up the sleeve. Not because we're hiding in shame, but because everybody wants a little surprise. Everybody wants to be wow-ed, even if they say otherwise.
I can handle insane amounts of clarity, having had enough of the fog. The clarity, the clarity, the clarity. The precision of eyes as they scan a landscape looking for clues and answers. The tactile touch of skin as it rubs against welcoming counterparts. The regulation of breath, with its simplicity and honesty.
I can see the threshold we are approaching. On the edge is the appearance of uncertainty, leaning on the precipice of a guarantee.
Nestled in the warmth of her bosom, I need no more proof. All I need is to sculpt my gift into clay, and beckon fire from the kiln to glaze our material into something substantial.
They talk about nothingness as if nothingness was the ultimate goal. One day they will realize how much they've been fooling themselves, because it is everythingness that will bring them to their knees and make folly out of their head-talk. But after all, they are the everythingness, so it's only been everythingness twiddling its thumbs and feigning satisfaction with its own mind games and abstract vocabulary.
I tell you this: if you're not bringing more paradise to the planet, then you're heading in a backwards direction. I aim forward. I aim towards an ancient mark. All this history must be understood. Not obsessed over I mean, but reconciled and honored for the long trail that we have been blazing for eons and eons of eternity. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 15 2015 : 2:28:43 PM
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Let us become stillness in action
Let us become our chosen ideal
Let us become an outpouring of divine love |
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yogani
USA
5195 Posts |
Posted - Sep 15 2015 : 2:34:40 PM
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Sep 15 2015 : 8:24:03 PM
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2015 : 3:29:28 PM
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Beehive
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2015 : 3:55:39 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
They talk about nothingness as if nothingness was the ultimate goal. One day they will realize how much they've been fooling themselves, because it is everythingness that will bring them to their knees and make folly out of their head-talk. But after all, they are the everythingness, so it's only been everythingness twiddling its thumbs and feigning satisfaction with its own mind games and abstract vocabulary.
I tell you this: if you're not bringing more paradise to the planet, then you're heading in a backwards direction. I aim forward. I aim towards an ancient mark. All this history must be understood. Not obsessed over I mean, but reconciled and honored for the long trail that we have been blazing for eons and eons of eternity.
This is a beautiful post. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2015 : 02:15:30 AM
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Forgive me, I gonna go poetic, journalistic, stream-of-consciousness again.
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A little bit of coffee can go a long way, and a lot of coffee has left me with a wicked headache. Pause, relax, open. No big deal. The bitter bean is alluring, but more alluring is the crisp clarity of non-caffeinated consciousness.
Moderation? I'll moderate the drinking of water, but renunciation is most likely called for when it comes to the Columbian brown powder.
How lucky I feel once again to doodle under the umbrella of this auspicious dwelling, this digital stomping ground for inquisitive minds, inquiring into the toolshed of the nerves. How long will it last? I say: 100 years minimum, and 1000 years more likely.
I'm supposed to be up in abut 5 hours to play tennis with my buddy, whose house I'm staying at, in the guest room next to his baby's room. The child has just learned to walk. How amusing and endearing it is to watch her stumble around and make animal-like noises as she explores her nearby territory.
Writing makes me feel good. And what's best is the automatic, un-authored stream that nudges the thumbs to touch the tiny keyboard on this smartphone. It's all thumbs tap-tap-tapping away at the touchscreen. Who is the source? Buried deep in the mind of Cody, mocking him, encouraging him, being him. It is both, and none, and all.
Once again the birds showed up on nearby branches, outside the treehouse-like window of my apartment. They do not stay long. But I will try to keep their attention. I will make it a contest. My own reality TV show, between the birds and me.
If you've read this far, I apologize sincerely for littering the yellow canvas of this forum with indulgent and narcissistic rambling. But, like the birds, perhaps you detect something enjoyable.
I enjoy you too, whether you know it or not, whether I say it or not, whether it becomes clear to either of us. |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2015 : 04:43:01 AM
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| all is a pass time and all is to pass time ,thankyou |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2015 : 06:17:13 AM
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| I like that! Passing time...rollin', rollin', rollin'... |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 29 2015 : 9:16:55 PM
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I know you. We have met before, though I can't remember when. Your face is slightly unfamiliar, but underneath the skin I see the reflection of a person I knew intimately long ago. How strange and amazing it is that your essence remains the same, though your appearance has shifted somehow.
Do you find the impermanence of things a cruel joke? Or perhaps the perfect gift? Or maybe there is no impermanence at all—only eternal things changing according to the whims and moods of their creators.
I have found that sadness is born from the same heart that births joy and everlasting peace. Do you feel the same? To look into the canopy of a forest, noticing the explosive greenness of the animated life therein, the conclusion can easily be drawn that the poetry of nature is spoken in a universal tongue.
I have often wondered how spectacular we can become. I can only imagine for so long, then the thirst overwhelms me. Brilliantly sculpted spectacles come to mind, revealing an intricate harmony and order. All is art, in a way. Living art. Breathing art. Gesticulating art.
I do not worry too much about destiny, because seeing you brings me great comfort and reassurance. Your weathered age is the guarantee I have been looking for. Your pristine youth is the inspiration I have been wanting. Your mistakes delightfully complement my own.
Before you leave, if I may be so bold as to amplify our ancientness, to diversify our talents, to prove the naysayers wrong once again.
You know how much they enjoy their fleeting disappointment when we blast them with our pure, unfiltered moonshine. |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2015 : 02:40:22 AM
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So beautiful and true Bodhi....
It's in the eyes,
look into the eyes
the eyes of a stranger
sometimes
it is like a thunderbolt,
remembrance, recognition
to what and to when?
No need to know,
Just smile,
and feel alive....
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BillinL.A.
USA
375 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2015 : 3:04:40 PM
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The moonshine you serve gets me plenty stoned Bodhi Tree!
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2015 : 3:29:08 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
it is like a thunderbolt
 Right on, Charlie-D!
quote:
Originally posted by BillinL.A.
The moonshine you serve gets me plenty stoned Bodhi Tree!
I aim to please! Much obliged for the confirmation, Bill. |
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Journal of a Disgruntled Mystic
