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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 05 2014 : 09:27:52 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
hello Yogaman 
may i suggest increasing your rest for 10 min instead of 5
all the best
Any particular reason? |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2014 : 10:09:26 PM
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I had another experience of The Witness today while hiking at the local park. Crossing paths with a park regular walking his dog, I asked if she was friendly. He replied "sometimes". Reaching out to pet the dog, it was obvious today was not one of the friendly days. She was quite aggressive actually. But I noticed just after that my body never went into any sort of anxiety or panic about the situation, as I'd expect a sudden jolt like that to cause. It was as if I were in a memory or watching detachedly.
It was all very subtle and dream-like. Maybe not even something I'd have noticed if it weren't for my meditation practices. Maybe something that wouldn't have happened like that without them. I've been in a small reverie ever since. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2014 : 09:41:31 AM
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Been noticing some irritability and a shorter fuse this week. Wondering if it has anything to do with the expanded asana routine. I went for a hike yesterday and a friend came along. While I'm glad to spend time with my friend, the introvert in me has grown quite find of my solo hikes and walks.
Speaking of introverts, can't recall if I've mentioned this before but I recently read the book Quiet, and it was superb. Introverts will get the most out of it, but anyone with an introvert in their life (spouse, friend, child) should read it. I had a misunderstanding of what it meant to be an introvert until very recently. Common misconceptions are that introverts are anti-social, socially awkward, withdrawn, and similar traits as these. Rather, introverts tend to just be hyper-sensitive to their surroundings and need more alone time. We tend to have rich inner worlds of thought, needing much less from the external world. If you are or suspect you might be an introvert, you should read this book.
I also really enjoyed The Willpower Effect. Lots of great information on how the biology of willpower works, so you can effectively work with it to create new habits and drop old unhealthy ones.
On the meditation front, the spontaneous kechari mudra seems to have gone away, some slight inklings at times but as I said I do not encourage it. I'm just starting to get a good groove with sambhavi mudra and I am focusing on stabilizing that for the present.
I had some discussions with an app developer I've become friends with via email about collaborating on a meditation/yoga app, ideally focused on AYP practices. The idea would be to develop an app that works for any potential system of meditation or yoga, but has some additional features particular to AYP such as suggested routines and practices, as well as the order of learning, self-pacing and such. I need to set up a poll here to get some feedback. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2014 : 01:33:25 AM
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Not much to report since last time. My irritability has calmed down, I did slip into a bit of a funk last weekend and was a bit sick but both seem to be clearing up. I wasn't as vigilant about my walks last week as I have been. I think I may have been a bit burned out with some added artwork goals I've added to my quickly filling up schedule.
Meditations have been quite good lately. Been a bit more relaxed and less striving. I've noticed sambhavi mudra has been more natural and requiring less effort. Also more pronounced sensation-wise each day. The kechari mudra has not been appearing automatically any more.
Asana starter kit is going good. I think I finally have the routine established in memory.
The "inner energy" flow becomes more pronounced and natural every day. Outside of sits. It's happening now as I type this in bed as usual. I find myself engaging mula bandha without thinking, and the "inner circuit" can be distinctly felt from the root up to the head behind the nasal cavity, a bit near the brow at times.
One other recent change I've noticed is a eyes-closed constellation of small dark spots with pale yellow halos. More pronounced during the post-asana corpse pose rest. Sometimes I see them during spinal breathing. Usually one "main" one. Can't tell if just eye floaters as they behave similarly (darting away when looking directly at them). |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2014 : 12:22:57 AM
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Sits this past week have been quite intense. The inner energy continues to be more pronounced and more tightly focused. Sambhavi mudra is very close to being second nature, especially after today's and yesterday's sits. All this despite having a cold since Saturday as well. Meditations have reached some profoundly deep and still extended moments. These sits and indications of progress are welcome, a nice refresher of enthusiasm for this path.
I've also noticed over the past few days an intensified awareness of sense perceptions, particularly taste and smell. Vision too at times. My mood has improved since last post, and my general well-being seems to be on an ongoing, if gradual, upwards curve. I am definitely grounded from a different source than before, if I was ever grounded to begin with! :) Not sure how to explain it, but I feel like I am less distracted by external nonsense, particularly the things I have no control over. And I'm starting to become more aware of how little I do have any control over. Most of it boils down to the Stoic approach of having control over the thoughts I have about, and the reactions to, that which goes on around me. Much less of any anxieties to "be something else", much more comfortable to "be how I already am".
It's like I am slowly learning to accept who I really am, and I've been fighting against it my entire life up until this point. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 11 2014 : 11:25:16 AM
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I've had a lingering cold the past 2 weeks. Interestingly, meditation sits the first week of the illness were quite good. Lately however they've been erratic, leaning towards the distracted side. I've switched back to the abbreviated asana set until if eel better.
I feel as if I am at a bit of a plateau. Not really getting much feedback from my sits — either in the sits themselves or daily life in between.
Often I feel as if others here have much more pronounced experiences than I do. While some physical milestones have been reached, the daily life effects are extremely subtle if they exist. Reading Yonatan's new journal, he speaks of needing to cut back on practices due to overload. I'm in no danger of that happening at all.
While I've maintained my twice-daily schedule, I've lost a bit of enthusiasm in the process. This has happened before. I try to look at it like exercise, where often you are not going to see big gains and they are not an ongoing experience when they do happen. There are plateaus in between the big gains. The big difference here is the subjective nature of the effects of meditation.
It can be frustrating at times to hop on the AYP forums and read of others who seem to be experiencing regularly reinforcing things as a direct result of their practice. I wish my experience were closer to that. At times I feel as if I am operating on blind faith here, something in contrast to the claims of direct experience which attracted me to yoga initially.
Still, I am dedicated to the sits. I still enjoy the structure it gives to my day and the quieting down of the mind for at least the time during the sit. |
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Mar 11 2014 : 12:32:44 PM
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No worries my friend. I think it is something we all deal with. Nothing special going on for me at the moment. Unless you count the fact that first I am noticing my body falling asleep and then I am falling asleep during practice. 
Just like you. I am sure something good is just around the corner. It always is  |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2014 : 2:18:20 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesboy
No worries my friend. I think it is something we all deal with. Nothing special going on for me at the moment. Unless you count the fact that first I am noticing my body falling asleep and then I am falling asleep during practice.
Just like you. I am sure something good is just around the corner. It always is
Thank you. I recall back when I was learning guitar I had given up out of frustration after months of practice with no progress. A few months later I picked up the guitar determined to learn, and boom, all my practice has sank in. I could play! And to think I could have walked away forever. I always keep that experience in mind when learning something new. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2014 : 2:22:00 PM
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I stumbled across some very interesting videos by Gary Weber last night. His website is here: http://happiness-beyond-thought.com/ and this lecture he gave at a Buddhist Geeks conference was really interesting and inspiring: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK8pcUt4gio&sns=em
I watched a few of his "conversation" videos on his YouTube channel too, they were good as well. Something about how these guys expressed themselves was very genuine and inspiring to me.
Weber offers a free Scribd version of his book on his site, which I've started reading as well. It's quite good so far. |
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Mar 13 2014 : 10:44:26 AM
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| Thank you for the link. I read his book and really like it. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 14 2014 : 01:10:24 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesboy
Thank you for the link. I read his book and really like it.
Glad you enjoyed, and good to hear on the book. I am reading it now and enjoying it so far. |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2014 : 9:46:30 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Yogaman
I feel as if I am at a bit of a plateau. Not really getting much feedback from my sits — either in the sits themselves or daily life in between.
Often I feel as if others here have much more pronounced experiences than I do. While some physical milestones have been reached, the daily life effects are extremely subtle if they exist. Reading Yonatan's new journal, he speaks of needing to cut back on practices due to overload. I'm in no danger of that happening at all.
While I've maintained my twice-daily schedule, I've lost a bit of enthusiasm in the process. This has happened before. I try to look at it like exercise, where often you are not going to see big gains and they are not an ongoing experience when they do happen. There are plateaus in between the big gains. The big difference here is the subjective nature of the effects of meditation.
It can be frustrating at times to hop on the AYP forums and read of others who seem to be experiencing regularly reinforcing things as a direct result of their practice. I wish my experience were closer to that. At times I feel as if I am operating on blind faith here, something in contrast to the claims of direct experience which attracted me to yoga initially.
Still, I am dedicated to the sits. I still enjoy the structure it gives to my day and the quieting down of the mind for at least the time during the sit.
Yogaman, that is really normal and nothing to worry about. I think your view is balanced
There were periods for me (sometimes long) that I also got discouraged and annoyed that "nothing is happening" even though I meditate regularly. But as Shanti likes to say, we do it like brushing our teeth! It's just something we know we have to do. So we do it and then let go (when we brush our teeth, most of us never keep thinking afterwards about the effects and outcomes of it). I know it is hard, because we come with big expectations, and I am still sometimes annoyed when nothing seems to happen!! lol But it gets much much easier and with time you just learn to live life as you let go in each moment.
I am inspired by your dedication. I am sure you'll see results if you continue with it. The guitar experience you had can teach a lot!
Namaste |
Edited by - Yonatan on Mar 16 2014 9:49:18 PM |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2014 : 10:50:33 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Yonatan
quote:
Originally posted by Yogaman
I feel as if I am at a bit of a plateau. Not really getting much feedback from my sits — either in the sits themselves or daily life in between.
Often I feel as if others here have much more pronounced experiences than I do. While some physical milestones have been reached, the daily life effects are extremely subtle if they exist. Reading Yonatan's new journal, he speaks of needing to cut back on practices due to overload. I'm in no danger of that happening at all.
While I've maintained my twice-daily schedule, I've lost a bit of enthusiasm in the process. This has happened before. I try to look at it like exercise, where often you are not going to see big gains and they are not an ongoing experience when they do happen. There are plateaus in between the big gains. The big difference here is the subjective nature of the effects of meditation.
It can be frustrating at times to hop on the AYP forums and read of others who seem to be experiencing regularly reinforcing things as a direct result of their practice. I wish my experience were closer to that. At times I feel as if I am operating on blind faith here, something in contrast to the claims of direct experience which attracted me to yoga initially.
Still, I am dedicated to the sits. I still enjoy the structure it gives to my day and the quieting down of the mind for at least the time during the sit.
Yogaman, that is really normal and nothing to worry about. I think your view is balanced
There were periods for me (sometimes long) that I also got discouraged and annoyed that "nothing is happening" even though I meditate regularly. But as Shanti likes to say, we do it like brushing our teeth! It's just something we know we have to do. So we do it and then let go (when we brush our teeth, most of us never keep thinking afterwards about the effects and outcomes of it). I know it is hard, because we come with big expectations, and I am still sometimes annoyed when nothing seems to happen!! lol But it gets much much easier and with time you just learn to live life as you let go in each moment.
I am inspired by your dedication. I am sure you'll see results if you continue with it. The guitar experience you had can teach a lot!
Namaste
Thank you for this Yonatan. My sits were a bit better this week, I let go a bit in my expectations. Aimed to focus on the practice rather than what results I would get from it.
I guess being an over-analytical type, it's tough for me to have to have "faith" or "belief" in the validity of all this effort. With guitar and bicycles, you can tell exactly where you stand and the fruits of the practice are quite tangible.
With meditation and yoga, it's pretty much all based on hearsay. Granted, there is a lot of the hearsay and it's been going on for a long, long time!
I like to imagine that these times are like the Zen master (your ego) refusing you entry to the Temple (Samadhi?). One must sleep and meditate on the doorstep of the temple to demonstrate the dedication. |
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chinmayo
Finland
67 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 11:53:05 AM
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Nice to see you have not disappeared!
I came here couple of times to read your journal just to see you hadn't written anything! Well, I have been rather erratic with my practise this year also, but seems like I'm getting back on track again finally. I think I'll start my own journal also so I don't have to spam others' journals with my rambling. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 19 2014 : 11:58:04 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by chinmayo
Nice to see you have not disappeared!
I came here couple of times to read your journal just to see you hadn't written anything! Well, I have been rather erratic with my practise this year also, but seems like I'm getting back on track again finally. I think I'll start my own journal also so I don't have to spam others' journals with my rambling.
My practice has been quite consistent, but my journal entries here are sporadic. I tend to only post when something of potential interest arises. Sometimes it's enthusiastic, sometimes pessimistic.
My thinking is that someone like me might find this journal and the process might help them maintain their practice or get one started. Just about every local friend I know who has started meditation practices has given up out of "not much happening" after a few months. I'm sure there are many more out there. I'm one of them, but I am determined to see this through and share my journey.
Perhaps I should consider more regular updates here, like weekly recaps. I know from doing daily and weekly recaps in my personal journal, there is quite a bit that can be overlooked if one doesn't record it.
Looking forward to reading your journal, thanks for the thoughts. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2014 : 10:44:42 AM
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So my sits have shifted again to quite deep and "energetically still". I've recently started back up the asana starter kit, which I'd put on hold while I wasn't feeling well. I'm still not feeling well, but it seems it's either allergies or sinusitis, and I'm on the cusp of the diving line in time right now.
I've noticed the inner energy activating when it's my usual time for a sit. Almost like a dog who knows when it's time to go for it's daily walks! The "Spinal Breathing Unit" (spinal breathing, mulabandha, sambhavi mudra, ujjayi) have become more refined and "efficient". It's taking on a new character and feel, as is the deepness, stillness and focus of meditation. I am noticing a bit more flexibility overall in the asanas as well.
I recently finished reading "Yoga Anatomy" which was quite interesting I skimmed over many of the poses, but the main introductory info was very interesting. I also finished up the Gary Weber book as well. That was a good, short read. I like Gary's "engineer brain" approach, it really resonates with me.
Things are progressing nicely with the meditation app development. Waiting for a rough prototype from the programmer any day now. Things are progressing quicker than expected. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2014 : 11:02:32 AM
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Sits continue to be quite profound in regards to the "energetic stillness". The "spinal breathing unit" is becoming more refined and focused. I'm not putting as much conscious effort into it all, and I feel it more powerfully. A recent sit this past week I found myself letting go and sinking into siddhasana and really finding The Zone.
All of this has been repeatable, if at varying levels of intensity/success. But they are not one-off experiences as some of my more profound sits in the past have been. I do have to note that these deeper sits coincided with adding the full asana starter kit back into the routine.
My brother expressed interest in "yoga" the other day. While he was mainly referring to fitness/asana yoga, he and I are like-minded and he was open to perhaps meditation. I have him a quick overview of things from the AYP perspective, and also some fitness yoga resources I used in the past. As Yogani says, all of the 8 paths lead to the same place.
I've noticed in my sits as of late that my monkey-mind thoughts seem to be regressing to older memories and get "snagged" on certain hang-ups from my past. While I do not dwell on them during sits, they seem to linger in daily life afterwards. Perhaps someone out there can say if this is what is referred to as part of the "purification" process?
Speaking of, I've been re-listening to the AYP audiobooks and the terms "purification" and "opening" aren't very well defined. Intuitively I think I get it, but I still have the questions "what is purified from my nervous system?" And "opening up of what, to what?" I realize that in time, all may be revealed, but for the explanatory and introductory aspects of the books, it's a bit vague for the uninitiated.
Like the Gary Weber link I posted earlier, I'm definitely a scientific mystic :) |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2014 : 5:16:57 PM
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Aiming for a weekly recap on this journal every Sunday.
This past week has been quite great for meditation sits. Since adding back in the asanas, I've noticed some profoundly deep sits. the "inner energy" gets in motion prior to getting started and has been activating earlier and earlier on in the asana routine. Since the start of my asana routine, the Kneeling Seat pose has always generated some sort of physical energy response. I can't really explain it, but it really seems to activate something in the nervous system. Some sort of pleasant, diffuse, all-over body "buzz" with some spinal energy sensations and sensations at the sambhavi mudra spot.
Lately I've been noticing this pulsing hum/tone when in Kneeling Seat. I can't seem to determine if it's related to the meditation/asana or if I am just becoming very quiet and hearing the furnace while it is in the "on hold" state :)
Spinal breathing has been quite focused, strong and I have at the same time been able to relax into it more, and make less effort while maintaining a stronger engagement and cohesive "unit" of sambhavi mudra and mula bandha. It has all become quite pronounced as of late.
Meditations too have been quite still, focused and in a "dynamic stillness" state. Mind-wandering varies from sit to sit, but overall it has been quite minor. The sits seem very long (in a good way), even at 20 minutes. I've been relaxing my body into the siddhasana pose, which helps quite a bit. It has been like that for asanas as well, relaxing deeper into the pose and using more of the natural balance of the body rather than active muscle engagement to maintain the poses and the sitting posture when meditating. All very beneficial for both.
Daily has been benefitting positively from all of this, days have been focused, calm, more alert and motivated. I am more present in my social interactions and less self-conscious with far less inner chatter. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2014 : 11:11:56 AM
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Busy weekend, didn't get a chance to post my weekly recap on Sunday.
This weeke was hit and miss with meditation sits. I also added in yoni mudra kumbhaka. Asanas have been going well, noticing more flexibility and more of an ability to really "actively relax" into each pose, allowing the body structure to go with it's spade sign and let gravity do it's thing.
Overall sits have been positive. Daily life has been busy with creating more artwork on a consistent basis. The weather is allowing more outdoor activities, been getting in some hikes and even a short bike ride this weekend.
I saw the author of "10% Happier" on The Colbert Report this week, a memoir about meditation from an initial skeptic. Added to my queue to read next. |
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ak33
Canada
229 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2014 : 6:32:22 PM
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| Hey Yogaman, having fun reading your journals. I was wondering, do you just practice the AYP starter asana kit or do you do something else? |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2014 : 10:42:37 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by ak33
Hey Yogaman, having fun reading your journals. I was wondering, do you just practice the AYP starter asana kit or do you do something else?
Thanks ak33. It's nice to get some feedback. It can feel like I am just talking into the void (or to myself) at times on this journal :) Good to know people are enjoying it and finding some value even if it isn't as interactive as other topics here.
I currently do the AYP Asana Starter Kit. I'm curious to dig around on the forums for the next step in asanas from an AYP approach. I'm enjoying the routine now that it is a habit, and the appetite for more has been whet.
* On a side note, when is mentioned in my last post that meditation sits were hit-and-miss, I meant that about the quality of the sit. I'm maintaining a twice-daily sit routine as I have for many months now. |
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lalow33
USA
966 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2014 : 4:02:19 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Yogaman
Busy weekend, didn't get a chance to post my weekly recap on Sunday.
This weeke was hit and miss with meditation sits. I also added in yoni mudra kumbhaka. Asanas have been going well, noticing more flexibility and more of an ability to really "actively relax" into each pose, allowing the body structure to go with it's spade sign and let gravity do it's thing.
Overall sits have been positive. Daily life has been busy with creating more artwork on a consistent basis. The weather is allowing more outdoor activities, been getting in some hikes and even a short bike ride this weekend.
I saw the author of "10% Happier" on The Colbert Report this week, a memoir about meditation from an initial skeptic. Added to my queue to read next.
Hi Yogaman,
I saw this episode of The Colbert Report. I might being reading this one as well. I would be interested your thoughts after you finish it. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2014 : 09:14:27 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by lalow33
quote:
Originally posted by Yogaman
I saw the author of "10% Happier" on The Colbert Report this week, a memoir about meditation from an initial skeptic. Added to my queue to read next.
Hi Yogaman,
I saw this episode of The Colbert Report. I might being reading this one as well. I would be interested your thoughts after you finish it.
I am about 90% done with the book (no pun intended). Overall it is an enjoyable read, although I find the author or perhaps his writing style a bit annoying. But I'm still enjoying the read overall. I think if I'd not already had an interest in the topic, I might not be as captivated. But in a way his journey parallels mine, so there's some resonance there.
The book could have been one of those books you ask your skeptical family member to read to get them past their misgivings about meditation. But there's this off-putting ego-trip vibe that makes me not want to suggest the book.
It's a pretty easy read, I'd say worth a library check-out at the least, in case you're not interested. You'll definitely only read this once, if that. |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2014 : 11:57:33 AM
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A mixed bag of sits this week. Perhaps due to adding yoni mudra kumbhaka, which is a very odd practice and tricky to orchestrate. The mudras and bandhas are all kind of bizarre in general. I still am confounded as to how anyone devised this system in the first place. It is similar perhaps to the shamans of the Amazon, who when asked about where they learned to mix the correct two plants in the jungle to concoct their visionary brew of ayahuasca (one for the drug, one to allow the drug to be orally active when drank), they say the spirit of the drink told them. A bit of a chicken-and-the-egg situation.
I'm not sure if there is a single term for the mulabandha and sambhavi mudra "unit", but that has become quite focused and refined over the past few weeks. It become nearly effortless at times. It continues to be very active outside of sits as well, especially when driving and often late at night as I read before sleep. The inner energy can get quite pronounced.
Asanas continue to go well and the inner energy and hum during Kneeling Seat persist. The activation of the Spinal Breathing Unit energy is quite obvious.
I've noticed a return of head and neck automatic yoga since introducing yoni mudra kumbhaka. I'm sure it is not a coincidence.
Daily life has overall been positive and productive, although the past day or two I've been in a slight funk. Perhaps due to the yoni mudra addition? Perhaps chalk it up to the vague "purification" process? I'm still confused as to what exactly the nervous system is purified of, and how, by these techniques. But just going with the flow.
My experience is that some of the claimed results have indeed taken place within me, so I continue to explore the practices and resulting direct experiences even if I'm not clear on the how, what or why. I know, I ask a lot of questions! But isn't that the role of a spiritual scientist?
One observation I've made in the recent weeks is how twice-daily sits start to turn the entire day into a yoga routine. Other activities become more organized to fit the schedule, and incorporated in a way that they "flow" into the next one. At the least, that has been my experience. It does at times limit my already less-than-spontaneous personality, but maybe that routine is what draws me to yoga in general. |
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Yogaman's journal
