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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 8:09:37 PM
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As mentioned previously, I will be teaching yoga on a non-profit basis when Lothlorien House opens in June. But, I still need a way to pay the bills, and jobs around here are very few, far between, low-paying and a long commute from my home.
I work as a telephone Psychic and have had sort of an ego problem over my lack of a "respectable job." After all, I'm supposed to be a Psychologist! That's why I got my M.A., but my licensing is not valid in Florida. So, the closest I was able to get was "Psychic." I've been a bit embarrassed about that, especially since where I live (in the Bible Belt) "psychic" is considered at best "entertainment," and at worst, satanic. When people ask "what do you do for a living?" and I say "psychic" they smile and roll their eyes, or else bite their tongue so as to restrain themselves from saying, "ok, you are going straight to hell!"
The cleaning & design business would have been more "respectable" simply because it is a "normal" occupation, but it failed despite massive advertising so apparently wasn't meant to be, and no other viable options have manifested.
Well, now I find myself finally coming to terms with my Psychic job. Although it doesn't pay enough, at least it IS a "job" of sorts, and many folks in my town are unemployed, so I am grateful to have something, especially working at home where I don't have to spend $$ on gas. This job DOES give me the opportunity to practice counseling, which is what I am trained to do, and I enjoy it. Although I get bored with the "fortune telling" aspect, apparently I have the gift and therefore can use it to help others.
I recently examined my ego objections and realized that I haven't been giving 100% due to this attitude that, "I ought to have a respectable career." I decided to let go of the resistance and put my whole heart into the job, rather than thinking of it as something embarrassing that I am doing in lieu of a "real job." Why should I care if people think I am "respectable" or not? The sense of "self importance" is so silly. 
I went online the other day and read my reviews, which I had not done in a long time, and was just blown away by all the love and gratitude my clients had expressed. I love my clients and want to be there for them. 
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 9:14:54 PM
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That's really good, Radharani. As soon as we start using the mainstream or status quo as our benchmark of spiritual progress, or spiritual authenticity, then I think we're reverting to a limited framework of being. We're riding on the edge, or at least that what I've gathered from my experience.
You're story makes me think of the book "Many Lives, Many Masters", which is the true story of a materialistic psychologist (Brian Weiss) that unintentionally discovered the validity of past lives when he was hypnotizing one of his patients. The data he gathered was undeniable, and he completely transformed into a spiritual teacher and now gives workshops on past-life regression/healing.
Anyway, it just proves that the truth is not found in Ivy League credentials, but in direct experience with the mysteries of life.
Glad you are working with what you've got, and not worrying about "popular opinion".  |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 9:49:38 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
That's really good, Radharani. As soon as we start using the mainstream or status quo as our benchmark of spiritual progress, or spiritual authenticity, then I think we're reverting to a limited framework of being. We're riding on the edge, or at least that what I've gathered from my experience...
Glad you are working with what you've got, and not worrying about "popular opinion".
Dear Bodhi,
thanks for your feedback! I would just like to clarify that I was NOT "using the status quo as a benchmark of spiritual progress or authenticity." My concern was specifically in regard to social standards and judgements about career from a material or worldly standpoint, i.e. being 50 years old and not having a "respectable job." It doesn't bother me spiritually.
On the other hand, going through this process (letting go of concern about the status quo) has resulted in the spiritual blessing of not allowing my ego to interfere with the joyous performance of my (apparent) dharma. I hope that makes sense. |
Edited by - Radharani on Apr 08 2013 11:46:24 PM |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 11:49:10 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Radharani
I hope that makes sense.
Makes total sense. 
What I should have said is that what may be socially/materially held in high esteem will not necessarily reflect upon any intrinsic spiritual worth. So, for instance, there could be a pyschiatrist who is making lots of money by prescribing anti-depressants, but the inner condition of the same psychiatrist may be spiritually bankrupt.
I didn't mean to imply that you were using such material standards as your spiritual benchmarks. I was just referring to the often glaring contrast between material rewards vs. spiritual progress, as you so skillfully clarified in your response. |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 3:08:51 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
quote:
Originally posted by Radharani
I hope that makes sense.
Makes total sense.
What I should have said is that what may be socially/materially held in high esteem will not necessarily reflect upon any intrinsic spiritual worth. So, for instance, there could be a pyschiatrist who is making lots of money by prescribing anti-depressants, but the inner condition of the same psychiatrist may be spiritually bankrupt.
I didn't mean to imply that you were using such material standards as your spiritual benchmarks. I was just referring to the often glaring contrast between material rewards vs. spiritual progress, as you so skillfully clarified in your response.
oh, yes! well I completely agree when you put it like that, and it has never been an issue for me - i.e., my whole life I have focused on the spiritual and believed that the material was unimportant. BUT, paradoxically, that very attitude has been a big factor (although certainly not the sole factor!) in creating the material position in which I now find myself, namely, 50 years old, broke and without a "real job."
I sometimes wonder, in retrospect, whether perhaps I should have spent more time and energy on my career, versus spending so much time and attention on yoga/ meditation, and maybe I would not be in this position?!
BUT, on the other hand, as you and I both know very well, the ultimate purpose of human life is Liberation, Divine Union. Given that, I now have Everything I always wanted and would be foolish to complain. So what if I am broke and pathetic according to worldly standards?! As you have pointed out, had I taken a different route I might be a wealthy, successful psychologist but spiritually starving.
There is obviously no question, from where you and I stand, that it is infinitely better to have God, than all the material success in the world. "What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" Thanks, bro, for your encouragement. |
Edited by - Radharani on Apr 09 2013 7:37:52 PM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 3:24:58 PM
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 8:32:46 PM
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LOL, Radharani. I share you pain.  I majored in religious studies at FSU. I'm at romantic-mystical-poet-musician trying to make it in an industrial, profit-driven culture.
But, as the Grateful Dead said: "We will survive. We will get by. (Every silver lining's got a touch of grey)." |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 9:50:10 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
LOL, Radharani. I share you pain. I majored in religious studies at FSU. I'm at romantic-mystical-poet-musician trying to make it in an industrial, profit-driven culture.
But, as the Grateful Dead said: "We will survive. We will get by. (Every silver lining's got a touch of grey)."
oh, dear. I majored in Philosophy at FSU! and I also attended my share of Grateful Dead concerts. well, there you have it.  |
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SparklingDiamond
Australia
227 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2013 : 9:50:09 PM
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Hi Rhadarani
I too have been wrestling with my 'role' in life too. Not feeling good enough, or that I do enough, or that it is 'credible' enough in societies eyes, and along with that, it is showing me how it's a reflection of my self worth, and where I need to do my personal work.
I wanted to share a link with you, that I found incredibly touching, but couldn't figure out how to do it.
It's called "I hate society, but love humanity". If you go to youtube you will find it, sorry couldn't figure out how to post it here for you
Namaste`
Maria |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2013 : 04:35:20 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by SparklingDiamond
Hi Rhadarani
I too have been wrestling with my 'role' in life too. Not feeling good enough, or that I do enough, or that it is 'credible' enough in societies eyes, and along with that, it is showing me how it's a reflection of my self worth, and where I need to do my personal work.
I wanted to share a link with you, that I found incredibly touching, but couldn't figure out how to do it.
It's called "I hate society, but love humanity". If you go to youtube you will find it, sorry couldn't figure out how to post it here for you
Namaste`
Maria
Dear Diamond,
For me it's not so much about "self worth" as being able to function successfully in society. My self worth does not depend on money, but my survival does. Like it or not, people do judge us based on our career or lack thereof, and the ego resents that. But, I've decided to let go of the resentment and make the most of the situation, even though in an ideal world I would be able to legally use my Psychology M.A. to make a very good living. |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2013 : 11:36:17 AM
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Hi Radharani,
Well those who roll their eyes or think you're going to hell are both rather silly and narrow-minded in my view, and it's a shame.
In other times and cultures, oracles and seers have often been the most highly valued and respected members of society.
I think that if you have a real gift for it, what you do is highly respectable. Psychic people (including, and perhaps most of all, my mom!) have been extremely helpful guides in my life.
Once a psychic had an intuitive sense to tell me to read Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle, which completely changed my way of relating to the world, for the better. It's effects are in me til this day.
It was psychic experiences (like my Mom knowing to call me when I'm upset, even when she is thousands of miles away in the UK) that first opened my eyes to the possibility that there is more under the surface of life than what our sense perceptions indicate.
I think it's a deeply healing, valuable work and I hope you will feel this way too. |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2013 : 11:01:53 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
I think it's a deeply healing, valuable work and I hope you will feel this way too.
I agree. Logic and figures are often useful, but they're just simple tools and nothing more.
Little would ever be invented if everybody just followed suit, thinking the same way as everybody else.
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2013 : 8:19:04 PM
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| Thank you, my dear friends, for your support and encouragement! Mr. Anderson, I had no idea your mom is psychic, that is so cool! No wonder you understand. HathaTeacher, of course you are right. I've been enjoying my psychic job very much since I put aside my ego concerns and also, since I quit my transcription job, which I used to do at the same time (typing medical reports in between calls). It was a bit tricky "switching gears" between calls and the oncology work really didn't put me in the best frame of mind for the psychic work. Now that I have devoted myself to it 100% it's going quite well. And I look forward to teaching yoga again when Lothlorien House opens in June! |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - May 03 2013 : 6:31:59 PM
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| Are you sure you need licensing to do all kinds of counseling there? Of course, I am in a different state, but I know someone who only has a bachelors in psychology and is allowed to do certain types of "family counseling", and she does that full time. She had to go through an internship. |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2013 : 8:18:30 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Are you sure you need licensing to do all kinds of counseling there? Of course, I am in a different state, but I know someone who only has a bachelors in psychology and is allowed to do certain types of "family counseling", and she does that full time. She had to go through an internship.
Yes, I am quite sure. Florida is very strict on licensing. To do "family counseling" or any type of psychological counseling here I would have to go back to school, get a whole NEW M.A., and then 2 years of internship. I can legally practice as a "holistic wellness counselor" but as mentioned previously, nobody can afford to pay for my services. |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2013 : 5:23:54 PM
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| In California I was a Licensed Ministerial Counselor on the basis of having a psychology M.A. and being a licensed minister. When I moved to Florida I was quite surprised to learn that L.M.C. was not recognized, AND in fact, in Florida it is ILLEGAL for ministers to practice counseling for pay! BUT, there is a loophole in the law which I can take advantage of, once I open Lothlorien House: Ministers are allowed to counsel in their own church building, but nowhere else, and while you can't "charge" per se, you can accept donations to the church. So that's what I plan to do. |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2013 : 01:15:16 AM
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I've been putting in more hours on the psychic line lately and it's really going well! Very enjoyable, and yesterday for the first time I was #1 on the list, a great honor. I've been on the first page frequently but never at the top of the list. This bodes well for my career.
I was reflecting on how my ability to do this job has changed over time with the evolution of my yoga practice, particularly since my entire reality shifted a couple of years ago, which was a quantum leap, although I've had a steady yoga practice since 1977.
When I began working as a professional psychic in 1994 I remember it being quite difficult and causing an energy drain/ strain. Although I did enjoy the job very much, I found myself being pulled into my clients' emotional "drama" and feeling drained at the end of my shift. I tried to be a "clear channel" for divine energy but was not really able to step out of the way sufficiently and it was quite exhausting at times. I would wear a crystal around my neck, usually a smoky quartz heart, to help ground the "crazy" energies from the clients and not get pulled in.
Now, this work has become nearly effortless and I no longer feel burdened in any way no matter how "crazy" the energy can get; nothing "sticks" to me. I don't have to "distance" myself from the clients' energy because there is no "me" to protect; the client and I are manifestations of the same One. I just feel compassion in the literal sense of "to feel/suffer together." I'm not drained by giving energy to them because it's not coming from me; Love pours through me.
These are the fruits of a lifelong yoga practice and I'm sure they are equally valuable in other fields of work, wherever we find ourselves, as we interact with our coworkers, the public, customers, etc. I am so thankful.
Also I am very thankful for those who have encouraged me in this work, especially when I was questioning, "but, it's not a REAL career?!" [like, being able to practice as a Psychologist, etc.] I feel really good about it. In addition, I am happy that this job will allow me to schedule around yoga students once my new studio is open, in the near future! |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2013 : 02:39:28 AM
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sunyata
USA
1506 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2013 : 2:30:29 PM
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Congratulations!!!! Radharani
Love,
Sunyata |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2013 : 12:01:58 AM
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| thanks, Maha and Sunyata! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2013 : 10:55:31 AM
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| That is really inspiring, Radharani, especially the part about how nothing sticks to you now. That is great freedom. I know how that feels sometimes...nothing to grab onto, nothing to hold you down...just being in the Oneness and playing my part in the comedic drama. Congratulations at excelling in your job. |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2013 : 11:03:25 AM
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I'm really glad it's going well for you. It's a valuable form of Karma Yoga that you are doing, and I'm sure you will help many people.
Much love to you Radharani,
Josh |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2013 : 8:14:34 PM
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Thanks so much, Bodhi and Josh!! Your encouragement means a lot to me.
Well guess what, a new development: I have FINALLY found a position as a Counselor, without having to pose as Fortune Teller - it is with an online counseling agency based in INDIA! ProvenTherapy.com. I must say I find this extremely amusing, that while our jobs are being outsourced to India, I have Indian friends who want to move to the U.S. for work (?!) and now here I am, as an American, having to go to India to find a job.  Being in India they don't care about Florida licensing, they only asked for my degrees and certifications and background. I am not an employee; it is a contract position, and I have not gotten any calls yet. But, they are in the process of optimizing their new website on the search engines and I am optimistic that once this gets sorted out I can do really well on their team. Unlike the psychic lines, which pay a very, very tiny commission, this company will leave me with 75% of my earnings. The boss is extremely nice and has made me feel quite welcome. He also is a Christian (with Franciscan leanings) and a yogi. I'm really excited to have the chance to help people from all over the world! I am still doing the psychic line as well. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2013 : 12:34:46 AM
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| Bravo! |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Oct 04 2013 : 01:20:39 AM
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Well, my dears - what a long, strange trip it's been! This blog post pretty much summarizes what has happened since I first set out to "manifest" my new studio on the beach, and subsequent events since my last post here in August: Dharma, Desire and The Death of a Dream.
Within a year of stating my intent, I managed to "manifest" about 8 new yoga studios on the beach - none of which is mine.
I've had to go back to my medical transcription job, along with my psychic and counseling jobs, and I have no time or energy to teach yoga. The good news is, my boss said I can have the Orofacial Surgery and Orthopedic accounts, so I don't have to do Oncology. I don't know if she had read any of my rants about how Oncology is a scam from hell, or if she was just sympathetic, knowing what I went through when my stepmother died from chemo last fall, but either way, I was relieved. I mean, sure, I can do all kinds of Jedi mind tricks on myself to be able to do it - like, using it as a meditation on the impermanence of the body, etc. - but I'd rather not have to. Plus, as I said, there are karmic implications to receiving money from involvement in it...
I also decided to go back to school to get certified in medical coding and billing, for which I'm told there is a big demand now with Obamacare being implemented and lots of new people getting insurance, plus we are upgrading our coding system in America and there will be a frantic rush to get everything converted over and they need a lot of people to do it. Learning the coding should be as easy as falling off a log since I've been working in medicine for 21 years and already very familiar with most of it - IF I can find time! I signed up over a month ago and I've been swamped with work and exhausted, so have not gotten to it yet. But I will.
As discussed in the above blog, I was shocked at first, and then angry, and went through the various stages of mourning when it became clear that not only would I not be able to make a living teaching yoga, and nor could I pay the bills doing anything else that I really enjoy, but also, I would be left with no time or energy to teach yoga! I had tried so many things - personal training, holistic wellness, psychic (reading tarot), counseling, house cleaning, painting and design, teaching horseback riding - all of which fell flat. I really didn't want to go back into mainstream medicine but I was left with no viable alternative. And guess what, contrary to what some people continue to assert, I am in fact not the one driving this chariot.
And since the only thing I really have any desire to "do" in this world is to teach yoga, I have no particular desire to go on living, and I just look forward to a happy death. Now, I know that sounds morbid but really it is very freeing. There is nothing holding me here.
Of course, this brings up the whole issue of, why must we spend the vast majority of our waking existence slaving away at a job that we don't enjoy (what Karl Marx called, "the alienation of labor") merely in order to survive, and to what end?! But that's kind of a whole 'nother topic, although certainly it is a common condition which I share with 99% of the souls on earth. So like I said, "it was never about me."
Now, as yogis we know that the point of human incarnation is the opportunity for "enlightenment" or "liberation" or whatever you want to call it, or as I as a bhakti/tantrika like to say, "to know God in this body." And so it is.
Because that is exactly what I am left with. Since resuming the medical job, while keeping the other 2 (I dropped the cleaning/design job), my health has deteriorated further. I am exhausted and in nearly continual pain. The cool thing about this is, it is incredibly liberating! It is difficult to put into words. It feels as though, as C.S. Lewis says in regard to purgatory, my "rough edges are being worn off." I feel like I am being totally worn down, or as the apostle Paul said, "I am being poured out like a drink offering." It has gotten to the point that my life is so impossible that it has become obvious that I am not the doer. There is no way that I could be doing this, working these 3 jobs, and continuing to function. I am a strong person but I'm not that strong, and presently I am quite ill. It is an incredible sense of surrender.
The sense of "translucency" of this self has become more and more apparent. And in the midst of the daily struggle to survive - even though I have no particular desire to survive, but it is simply what we do - the amazing thing is this deep, abiding Silence, this Peace, this ineffable Bliss and Love that is completely unrelated to external events, reminding me more than ever that the Reality is this eternal connection with the Divine which is why I am here. There is nothing else. Fortunately my yoga practice is long established for many, many years, so that even in the midst of illness and exhaustion, when I can't really "practice" much, it takes over for me. I can meditate in shavasana without falling asleep. Actually I slip into meditation pretty much anytime when I am not doing anything else in particular. This is the benefit of a lifelong daily discipline; in the beginning you do yoga, and then eventually yoga does you.
Anyway - now that I had given up on teaching yoga, and the whole Retreat Center and everything, I recently was contacted by a former yoga student who had moved to another city and her teenage daughter, who was also a student of mine, fell in with a bad crowd, is having a rough time, and needs "residential therapy." The police said it's either that, or juvie. Her mom was worried that she might try to run away to Cocoa Beach. I said, "Cocoa Beach? Hell yeah, I'll run away with her!" I would love to run away and the waves there are perfect. This is her last chance and her family has chosen to send her to me! At first I said, "oh, no, I can't, I'm so overwhelmed already...!" but when I prayed about it, I couldn't say no. I want to be here for her. So I will soon have a yoga student in residence. Even though I have essentially no "free time," since she will be living here AND she is on my same schedule (evening shift) we will be able to find time to do yoga when it is convenient for both of us. I am really looking forward to her arrival. She was supposed to come this weekend but with the impending hurricane might be delayed.
It's all completely crazy but like I said, I am not the one driving this chariot. LOVE to all of you.
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Chaz
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Oct 04 2013 : 03:22:48 AM
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| Wow! I'm glad I took the time to read your post as it touched me deeply. Truly inspirational. Thanks for sharing! |
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Making Peace with the Psychic job
