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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
 Posted - May 11 2012 : 1:43:27 PM
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Beloved Ishta
i feel i want to Love, let me Love you more
i feel i want to be Loved, kindly Love me more
sometimes i feel empty, please fill me more
sometime i feel i need to be in control,please take Control
for i will bow my head down to whatever You decide
because in my Heart i know without any doubt
that whatever You decide is always for the best |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2012 : 1:22:44 PM
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in all aspects of life
life,death,health,wealth,sickness,relationships etc....
the Ishta gives
then the Ishta might take it back
nothing is mine |
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Shanti
USA
4556 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2012 : 1:31:52 PM
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So heartfelt my dear.
_/\_Joining you in these prayers._/\_
Thank you. |
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Ananda
2789 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2012 : 1:46:40 PM
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 16 2012 : 06:40:58 AM
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| when there is longing for anything let me desire You instead |
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Shanti
USA
4556 Posts |
Posted - May 16 2012 : 08:38:32 AM
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| Thank you for this reminder. _/\_ |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2012 : 04:39:08 AM
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my ishta is a monk/saint...he is very skinny
i am skinny too and lately i was trying to gain some weight ...i added my calory intake even eating junk but my weight is still the same
this morning while i was unhappily noticing how i failed until now to gain some weight...i sponteaneously thought the following: my dear ishta...at least being skinny makes me remember you more cause you were skinny too....
neverthless Your radiance was emanating from all directions...
kindly make me gain some weight
if you dont want so, then let me whenever i feel unhappy because i am not gaining weight, let me remember that despite You were skinny,You were an incarnation of divine Love flowing to the extent that devotees would not notice this persihable cage of flesh and bones...all they saw was radiance,presence,love and divinity....
dear ishta give me the patience and strenght to do what You decide not what i decide in all aspects of "my" life
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Marcel
USA
31 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2012 : 6:03:13 PM
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Your bhakti is indeed contagious  |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2012 : 02:31:13 AM
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my character is very organized ,but lately all my plans (even silly things like going to the dentist) are falling part....He is telling me you can not control anything...you can not decide anything...all has to be spontaneous...trust the flow and surrender...stop organizing.....take your hands of the steering wheel...maheswari have not you learned the lesson yet ?!
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when the individual self feels lonely he must know that he can walk with Him,talk to Him,laugh with Him,cry with Him....all the activities can be done with Him.... |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2012 : 04:47:15 AM
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i dont know how i am feeling....all is neutral...
sometimes i wish i can disappear....but then i engage into action...
life is happening...
neither happy nor unhappy
in the end it is not important to know how i am feeling |
Edited by - maheswari on May 26 2012 04:50:33 AM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2012 : 11:07:21 AM
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a note for the moderators : if this thread is getting too "crazy" please let me know i will stop posting...in fact i am uncertain where i am heading  ...it is all coming by itself...
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i only have Him
He does not go, He does not come back
He is There
Here and Now
failing in seeing Him is my fault
because sometimes my glasses are tainted , my vision is blurred
Eternity is permanently safe and unshakable
i only have Him
hence i have nothing, yet i have everything
i am a very ordinary person
but when i know that i have Him i feel like the eagle...flying aloof
He too is a very ordinary person
humble like a blade of grass
He too does not have anything,yet He is Everything
The way He walks,talks,eats,writes,helps....
His Presence
all of it seem to come from another dimension
so simple yet so perfect and beaming Love
everyday some tears are bound to come on my cheeks when i think of Him or when i talk to Him
telling him all my complaints...and He patiently listens again and again ...then in daily events all of a sudden He sends me signs as answers....
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Marcel
USA
31 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2012 : 12:42:34 AM
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| This is beautiful |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2012 : 1:40:06 PM
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| Let Him lead "my" steps according to His Cosmic Dance |
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Shanti
USA
4556 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2012 : 2:06:54 PM
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LittleTurtle
287 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2012 : 8:02:13 PM
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| I like it |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2012 : 05:59:39 AM
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| i feel cold cover me with Your cloak |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 30 2012 : 04:02:53 AM
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| Lord have mercy on me and fill me with Your wonderful Love. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - May 31 2012 : 06:50:28 AM
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| sweet sadness... |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2012 : 03:21:39 AM
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oh forgive me for not remembering You enough yesterday...i was buisy too seriously playing out my so called life...too excited about believing the stories running in my mind...so foolish of me...no wonder that now i feel empty...for who else but You can really fullfill me?
i pitty those who live (play) their entire lives without seeking You...how do they fill this emptiness? they dont...they turn a deaf ear to Your inner voice calling them...they just drag their emptiness to their grave...are not they already dead from now? passing images,passing images...
there might be tears and sadness...but are they really my story? deep down the drama is not touching me ...the shining silent witness prevails... the next moment i am all smiles and laughing...life is perfect as it is now... |
Edited by - maheswari on Jun 05 2012 03:27:30 AM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 01:53:25 AM
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those words were sent to me by a very dear friend:
now you have time to hang out with Him ,alone, which is very sweet...may you sit on His lap
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maheswari
Lebanon
1915 Posts |
Posted - Jun 16 2012 : 04:14:58 AM
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sometimes when i am very tired i speak to my ishta and tell him: well You put me here in this tiring situation.....there must be a valid reason i am sure cause You know best....it is ok if i am exhausted , You can annihilate me if that is what You want..... then suddenly the tiredness is more or less lifted up... life goes on with me or without me...
there is a feeling that i am dead yet i am not dead
the body is shining more and more
i want to stay in inner silence...yet He is propelling me out more and more into crazy buisy daily activities
i wana be lazy and stay in inner silence...He is not allowing it
what a dichotomy
but not really a dichotomy
life goes on with or without me |
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prayer to the Ishta
