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Darko
21 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 13 2012 : 12:33:32 PM
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Hey Sangha,
I am reading this forum for a few years and now I would like to introduce my self.
My name is Darko (male), I am currently 36 years old. My spiritual journey started 20 years ago with many esoteric and religious books. In those 20 years I have tryed countless spiritual paths.
10 years ago I stumbled into the Neo-Advaita "Satsang Scene". After a few satsangs with enlightened masters I realized myself as pure beeing. This silent, ever present empty awareness beyond body, mind, space and time. It was absolutely ecstacic! I was in total joy! It was like finally coming home... what a relief...
I spent a few days in total bliss and joy and then, suddenly - the whole universe "imploded" in myself, as myself. I realized: "I am all there is". "The universe is me, I am the universe.". It was total oneness, including time and space. "There is nothing outside of me", "wherever I go - I am already there". This mystic experience answered all fundamental life questions in the fraction of a second. All questions about life, death, god, karma, control, destiny, all questions simply dissolved in the knowing "I am all there is."
After this experience I spend a few months as witness, simply whatching what happend around me. It was very blissfull, but eventually this awareness of myself faded away. Today I still know who I am, but this awareness is not effortlessly stable. I have to remind myself consciously or do spiritual practices like meditation, qi-gong, etc.
After all this experiences I am a little bit confused. I have expected to have a stable awareness of myself after such profound and deep experiences but unfortunately it is not like that. I think Zen Buddhist call this "Kensho" (seeing your true nature), in comparison to "Satori", which means a full, stable enlightenment - but I am not sure. I am open to any hints how I can stabilize this awareness.
Thanks for your attention.
Kind regards,
Darko
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gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2012 : 1:04:32 PM
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Hi Darko 
I think that you'd probably find Direct Path self-inquiry very useful in integrating this awakening.
A good starting point is to google audio and video by Greg Goode. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1532 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 12:03:01 AM
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Hi Darko,
What are your practices?
Sey |
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Darko
21 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 03:35:55 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by gatito
Hi Darko
I think that you'd probably find Direct Path self-inquiry very useful in integrating this awakening.
A good starting point is to google audio and video by Greg Goode.
Thanks Gatito! I think this is exactly what I need! |
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Darko
21 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 03:39:57 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere
Hi Darko,
What are your practices?
Sey
Hi Sey,
well, to be honest - almost nothing. I have tryed this and that, but never was able to stick to a practice longer then one month. But if I do some practice then it is usually TM (Deep Meditation) or Wuji Qi Gong, which produces almost the same effects like Deep Meditation. Most times Wuji Gong throws you in silence-spaces even deeper then meditation.
http://www.wuji-gong.org/ |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 04:24:32 AM
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When I was about 15 I had my first experience in a British pub. I drank my first pint of beer accompanied by adults.
Their was a dart board on the wall, so my friend and I decided to play a few rounds. I had never played darts before so it was a new experience.
Suddenly into my head flashed the idea that I could hit the bulls eye in one throw. I stood back, aimed, and with total surety watched the dart fly directly to the bulls eye.
My friend was a bit unnerved at this beginners luck, so I told him I would throw the next one beside the first. Again I aimed and threw, the dart seemed not to be connected to my hand, it seemed totally locked on target without needing my control at all. Bang, straight beside the other dart.
For years after I practised darts trying to emulate that feat and never managed it. I know that it did not come from learned skill or muscle memory. It came from the flash of knowing, without any trace of doubt, without expectation.
The lesson was not about the potential to be a great dart player, I just didn't understand it back then. I thought if I could just bring up that same state it would become a permanent thing.
The harder you try, even though you can improve your skill, that first experience will be as illusive as those first two darts. You only see when you are not looking, only find when you are not searching. Stay in the moment, see that it revolves around you, not you around it. Do not try to seek that experience, accept what is in the moment only, stop the mind trying to find it.
You have found AYP so do the practices without reward. Look without looking. |
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gatito
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 05:46:17 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Darko
quote:
Originally posted by gatito
Hi Darko
I think that you'd probably find Direct Path self-inquiry very useful in integrating this awakening.
A good starting point is to google audio and video by Greg Goode.
Thanks Gatito! I think this is exactly what I need!
Great!!
The Direct Path is one of my passions. I spent years exploring it myself. Let me know how you get on; I can point you to some fantastic resources. |
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ddaniel
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2012 : 10:07:46 PM
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I'm watching some Greg Goode videos right now... Great stuff!! Exactly what I needed to hear right now.
Thank you, gatito! |
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Darko
21 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2012 : 2:33:17 PM
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Thanks Karl, cool story and resonates within me!
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2012 : 3:55:38 PM
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| Great story karl! |
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