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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 11 2012 : 12:15:45 PM
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When AYP awakened ecstatic bliss and joy inside me, that was it. I’d found an internal source of fulfillment which I’d always been unconsciously seeking.
I became inured to external reality and simply wanted to remain in a blissful, ecstatic state all the time. “What do external conditions matter?”, I asked myself “When I have all this accessible pleasure and joy inside me?”.
The signs arose that something was up. I didn’t much want to spend time with other people, it was much more joyous to be alone and in silence. I found the company of my worldly friends to be too visceral.
I became depressed. The bliss and joy turned into a pretty melancholy bliss and joy. I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what. I wasn’t motivated to work hard in my job, I didn’t particularly want others company etc. Some good things came too – a lot of creativity, artistic inspiration, increase in gentleness and empathy with others. I did a lot of volunteer work to help people during this time, and suddenly became very concerned with the welfare of others.
Then suddenly BAM! I had a huge explosion of ecstatic extroverted energy. Whilst I didn’t stop AYP, I cut down meditation times, and tended to only meditate 3 to 5 times per week instead of twice a day, every day. I’d completely stopped drinking alcohol and I started again. I had fun. I went to parties. Life became a big, ecstatic, extroverted joy-ride, full of activity, instead of a placid, beautiful, peaceful but lonely retreat. I also started working really hard and being very successful at work as a result.
Now the summary of the integration I experienced.
“Sattwa the shining can show the Atman by its pure light: yet sattwa will bind you to search for happiness, longing for knowledge.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:6)
State one (Sattvic): Introverted, interested in transcending reality, very spiritually motivated, calm, peaceful, silent, seeking inner fulfillment, always looking to God, likes to be around spiritual people, artistic, creative. Believing that consciousness is the true reality, material reality is the dream. Loves to be alone. Very empathic and concerned with the welfare of others. Vegetarian diet of mainly raw foods, green smoothies etc. Self effacing. Spends time in spiritual practice and meditation. Exercise was yoga and running. Negate the body and it’s physical appetites.
“Rajas the passionate will make you thirsty for pleasure and possession: rajas will bind you to hunger for action.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:7)
State two (Rajasic): Extroverted, interested in sensual pleasure – sex, fun, entertainment, materialistic and working hard for money (in an ethical way), loves to be with friends, practical, down to earth, grounded. Not afraid to put myself first, assert myself, ask for and get what I want. Inclined to be a little selfish. Narcissistic instead of self-effacing. More meat-based diet, eats heavier foods. Exercise was mainly weight lifting and bodybuilding. Active, passionate, loving life, full of ideas and ambitions and dynamic energy. Love the body and it’s physical appetites.
I basically went from 6 months of being extremely Sattvic in my inclinations, basically living a monk-like lifestyle (my friends actually started to call me the monk :D) to plunging into the reverse polarity of being extremely Rajasic for the next 6 months. It was pretty confusing, although I had an awesome time in both modes – particularly the Rajasic one ;-)
When I went into the Rajasic mode, I thought I’d regressed into some kind of “less spiritual state” and I kind of had.
But in retrospect, what was happening was an internal integration of my Rajasic and Sattvic qualities (previously they’d been opposed, my Sattvic side was kind of ashamed of my Rajasic side). But I’ve learned a pertinent lesson, which I feel like describing as it seems that many other people have or will have to undergo this in some way.
Embrace and express all parts of your being. There’s nothing wrong with your dark side, your selfish instincts, your tendency to be angry or cruel, your meanness etc – you should love and integrate these parts of yourself. I know many people on AYP probably already know this, but for me it was a lesson.
If you look around the spiritual world, it seems errors have occurred when people missed this lesson. I was just reading about Swami Kriyananda, for example. I’ve read many of his teachings, and what inspiring teachings they were. Then I found out that: “eight women testified under oath that Kriyananda had used his power as the leader of Ananda to obtain sexual gratification from them when they were in their 20s”.
The experience is a shock, to have been inspired and guided by someone, and regard them lovingly, then learn that they were capable of such despicable behavior. People’s reactions are manifold: to cast the first stone at the Guru. To disregard all the good teachings that came from the Guru. To deny that the Guru did this.
My experiences taught me firstly, if you deny or fail to embrace your shadow-self, your dark-side or your rajasic qualities, it’s expression becomes even more warped and distorted. It strikes me that in the case of S.Kriyananda he constantly took refuge in his Sattvic side and the bliss of meditation, denying his darker human/animal side (he’d taken vows of celibacy), and his darker side came up and caused much more damage than it would have done. If he’d just refused to be a Guru, admitted he was just a regular guy who liked sex, refused vows of celibacy, he’d never have been in a position where he had this grand and pure image, yet he was abusing it (and abusing those women) for sexual gratification. I understand why with his practical wisdom, Yogani shuns Guru status.
I suppose for people who have children and a husband/wife, it really helps to ground them and stop this occurring. But I think there are also a lot of people out there who may not have this grounding influence, and tend to concentrate on their Sattvic side to the exclusion of their Rajasic side. These people can even find themselves being treated as Gurus, when in truth, they may have a great deal to teach, but they are just regular human beings like everyone else. This can lead to some real tragedies. It’s a tragedy if someone rejects the value to be gained from GURU X/Y/Z’s teachings, just because GURU X/Y/Z mistakenly allowed themselves to be elevated to Guru status, only to have a hard fall from this pedestal when it turned out they were just a regular human being with flaws.
So there we go. Hope this resonates with some people. And I wanted to include something interesting I read about the differences between Sattvic and Rajasic.
The source is: http://www.atmajyoti.org/hi_gita_commentary_72.asp
Sattwa
“Sattwa the shining can show the Atman by its pure light: yet sattwa will bind you to search for happiness, longing for knowledge.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:6) This conveys the general idea quite well, but literally the verse is: “Of these, sattwa, free from impurity, illuminating and free from disease, binds by attachment to happiness and by attachment to knowledge.” From this we know that sattwa is free from impurity–from any element that obstructs higher consciousness from functioning on any level. Further, sattwa illuminates the mind and whatever the mind is fixed upon. Understanding and practical knowledge arise naturally in the sattwic mind. Sattwa is free from any defect, either mental or physical. Nevertheless, sattwa is as much an element of bondage as rajas or tamas. It binds us through attachment to happiness and ease of heart and to the pursuit of spiritual wisdom. When these are sought as attributes of the Self, such seeking frees us. But if they are sought under the influence of sattwa, they are sought for their benefits–ultimately for our personal well-being and understanding. The motive is tainted–albeit only as the faintest shadow–by egoic motive. Sattwa, too, must be shed by the ascending spirit. For: “The power of sattwa enslaves the happy.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:9)
“When sattwa prevails over rajas, tamas, man feels that sattwa.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:10) That is, sattwa is a force of positive introversion, of keen awareness of inward states–a condition essential for proficiency in meditation. It is a psychic sensitivity, an awareness of subtler realms of being. This is because sattwa is fundamentally an orientation toward spiritual ascension which results from the dissolving of all lower things. The ultimate sattwa (shuddhasattwa) is a melting away of all that is not spirit.
“When understanding shines in through the senses, the doors of the body: know sattwa is present.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:11) Those in whom sattwa predominate are not bewildered by life and its experiences. Rather, the sattwic person is ever gaining in understanding, being taught by life itself. The sattwic persons SEES in the fullest sense.
“That man who meets death in the hour of sattwa goes to a sinless home among the saints of God.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:14) Being himself a knower, at the time of death he ascends to the pure worlds of those established in the highest consciousness, his state of mind being in harmony with theirs.
“Fruit of the righteous act is sattwa.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:16) Action that increases the quality of sattwa in us is the only truly good action. This is a necessary lesson for us who seek the Highest. For: “Of sattwa, knowledge is born.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:17) And as has been said: “Abiding in sattwa, man goes to higher realms [after death].” (Bhagavad Gita 14:18) But he must abide in sattwa, be established in sattwa, not just having occasional bouts or flashes of sattwa. Sattwa must be a steady condition.
Rajas
“Rajas the passionate will make you thirsty for pleasure and possession: rajas will bind you to hunger for action.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:7) Rajas produces fevered desire in us, whatever the object might be. Fundamentally it makes us crave enjoyment and possession of the objects of enjoyment. It literally addicts us to action–the shackles of rebirth and karma. In sum: “The power of rajas enslaves the doers.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:9) Pity the fool who says: “I am a doer, not a thinker,” who considers himself “a man of action.,” and thinks it is an enviable virtue.
Rajas is a consuming monster, for: “When rajas prevails over sattwa, tamas, man is seized by that rajas.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:10) His will is wiped out, at least for the moment. In the second chapter Arjuna asks: “Krishna, what is it that makes a man do evil, even against his own will; under compulsion, as it were?” (Bhagavad Gita 3:36) And Krishna answers: “The rajoguna has two faces, rage and lust: the ravenous, the deadly: recognize these: they are your enemies.” (Bhagavad Gita 3:37) “In greed, in the heat of action, in eager enterprise, in restlessness, in all desire, know rajas the ruler.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:12) And we are the slaves!
The following are self-explanatory:
#61607; “He who dies in rajas will be reborn among those whose bondage is action.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:15)
#61607; “As for the deeds of rajas, pain is their fruit.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:16)
#61607; “Of rajas, greed [is born].” (Bhagavad Gita 14:17)
#61607; “[After death,] remaining in rajas, in this world he remains.” (Bhagavad Gita 14:18)
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2012 : 1:29:39 PM
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quote:
what was happening was an internal integration of my Rajasic and Sattvic qualities
thank you for post.....totally relate.....for many years i was way too satvic like a monk (sister in my case lolll), in 2005 i even thought about leaving everything and becoming a Swami....
then in 2009 naturally happened an integration b/w satva and rajas...but i did not pass by a phase of total rajas like your case....i just sponteanously integrated rajas stuff into my life (like sex, loving my body,,be generous with myself)...but no meat eating and no ambition and no career blablabla....just perfectly doing the work that presents itself to be done.....i have many non spiritual friends that i like to hang out with,but not for very long time,few hours per week are more than enough....
Love
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2012 : 2:15:24 PM
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Jan 20 2012 : 03:04:26 AM
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I can relate to the "phases" you describe, and the subsequent integration, and you have made some good points. My teacher also says when people, especially gurus, deny their human/sexual side it inevitably leads to trouble.
But, I want to clarify something about the situation with Swami Kriyananda. Have you actually read the lengthy transcript of the civil court proceedings?? In the court documents, according to the testimony of the women involved, all of the sexual activity that occurred was among consenting adults. In some cases the women actually seduced the swami (see below). The argument about "abuse" was simply that as a guru/ minister/ spiritual leader K. had somehow used his influence to pursuade the women, although they admitted that they freely consented; the argument presupposes that women are weak and easily manipulated, which I think is bogus and I would not call it "abuse"; "regret," perhaps, but not "abuse." Now, I want to share something you may find amusing:
I was one of K's students during that time and didn't know anything about the situation, and only learned of it a couple of years ago, much to my surprise, when I stumbled across it online while trying to get back in touch with some friends at Ananda. First I must say, K. was an excellent teacher of kriya yoga and totally helped me on my yogic path. But, what's funny is that I had a terrible crush on him! He was much older than me and not particularly "handsome" in the Hollywood sense, but he literally glowed with divine love, and there's nothing so attractive as a God-realized man. I felt awful about it because at that time I had bought into the dogma that sex is unspiritual and celibacy is the way to go, and of course, one should not have sexual thoughts about a holy man!! I used to beat myself up about it and when our eyes met, I prayed he would not know my shameful thoughts.
Well, fast forward to a couple of years ago when I read the court transcript and learned, to my amazement, that while I was at Ananda ashram in my early 20s, there were several young yoginis who used to sneak into Swami's house at night and essentially throw themselves on him in bed! Swami K. apparently (based on his testimony as well as theirs) did not have the heart to throw them out, but kindly cooperated with their seduction of him, on multiple occasions. Then later they accused him of "abuse." IMO when you sneak into somebody's house and jump on them in bed, and they not only do not call the police but actually show you a good time and don't say anything about it, you have absolutely no reason to complain. In fact, you're damn lucky. When I read the transcript my reaction was, "OMG, he picked the wrong women to sleep with!" because had I known this was going on at the time, in my wild youth, I would have been right there with those women! Except I wouldn't have complained. I would have been thanking God for the incredible opportunity to have sex with the guru.
Honestly, I don't think he did anything wrong, but as a "celibate" it certainly didn't look good. I recently read something similar about Muktananda, where he claimed to be celibate but supposedly had girls in his bed every night. One of the women who claimed she was "abused" by M. described what sounded to me like a lovely time - hours of tantric sex - which she admitted was voluntary although he had somehow pursuaded her due to his spiritual authority or something. I'm sure there are women who would love to have been in her place... Anyway like I said, if it's between consenting adults I don't see what the big deal is, EXCEPT that yes, we need to be honest about sexuality, and honor it as part of the spiritual path, as opposed to denying it as an ugly secret that inevitably will come (no pun intended) to light... |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Jan 20 2012 : 4:15:13 PM
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Hi Radharani,
Thanks for your input, it's nice to hear from someone who has in fact had first-hand experience of S.Kriyananda (SK). No I have not read the court transcript.
We are by no means in disagreement. I'm in favor of embracing the human/sexual/animal side of our nature, not rejecting or denying it, or labeling it as un-spiritual. I think a progression beyond a morality which is always keen to viciously judge and label others behavior, is important.
The combination of sexuality and spirituality is still such a heated and confusing issue. Humans can have this divine, "pure" side to their nature, and also a base, lustful side - my feeling is that maybe it's time to cast aside the division between these two, and move towards greater integration. I know I have my divine moments, and my outright lustful ones too. I'm not ashamed.
But I think my point is, the mistakes we make are in identifying ourselves or others with certain qualities. We can, in ourselves, move towards the sattvic side too much, and try to forget about our more animal side or suppress it. That comes out wrong at some point.
We can also project onto others too much. It seems to me S.Kriyananda is a human being, a very gifted one, perhaps with considerable spiritual realization. But still a human being. People project their own image of how the divine guru should be, and maybe that images excludes sexuality, and when he acts otherwise, they are shocked and dissapointed.
In truth, we encompass all things, light and darkness, and perhaps we should shed our attachments to both. Is SK's true identity his body mind, the body-mind that had sex and perhaps could be accused of having acted in a way which was a little impure? Or is his true nature consciousness, God, divinity - whatever you want to call it? I think perhaps it's both, we live in a world of duality after all.
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chit-ananda51
India
127 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2012 : 12:39:05 AM
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Dear Anderson,
I found your post on integrating darkness with light interesting. Thought I would chip in and share a few lines.
As Radha points out, it's not about running and hiding ourselves with fig leaves as it happened in those days of Eden concerning our darker nature. 
We need to face them and accept it as part of our acquired habits and mental impressions of aeons/ages. Who knows... we might be souls hovering around for millenia imbibing and reacting to external stimuli,mental images, belief system over different cultural settings.
It takes much perserverance and patience to learn(or effortlessly abide) to abide in our true nature/essence as blissful awareness. In the beginning they are momentary glimpses of that blessed state of extreme joy which in itself a great blessing.
I have been through the scales of Sattwa and Rajas alternating sometimes in cycles of months, weeks and year. Been through cycles of guilt, shame, fear and all negative states. All I hope is that it will eventually dissolve into the inner silence as proclaimed like sages of the yore to propel us beyond Sattwa, Rajas and Tamas. At those times, I felt the need for blessings of a realized Guru/our own inner Guru(on increased proportions) much necessary to move past and not to get trapped these endless cycles.
quote:
It was pretty confusing, although I had an awesome time in both modes – particularly the Rajasic one ;-)
Wish you a wonderful journey !
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nearoanoke
USA
525 Posts |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2012 : 03:50:10 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by nearoanoke
I guess lot of women must be having crush on this handsome guru 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96N4RavcDr4
?? never heard of him. what's the story? |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2012 : 04:46:28 AM
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| naah... he needs a good shaving |
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nearoanoke
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2012 : 09:00:45 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Radharani
?? never heard of him. what's the story?
No story yet. His name is Jeff Foster a famous non-dual teacher
quote:
Originally posted by Radharani
naah... he needs a good shaving
I thought women find facial hair hot
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
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nearoanoke
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2012 : 11:11:44 AM
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Tolle has become very popular after Oprah's show.
While a google search for Adyashanti returns 0.5 million results, Gangaji returns 0.4 mil, eckhart tolle returns 6 million
Ofcourse michael jackson returns 719 mil |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2012 : 03:49:24 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
naah... he needs a good shaving
agreed. he might have a nice face under all that hair, but we can't tell.
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2012 : 04:08:32 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
Hi Radharani,
Thanks for your input, it's nice to hear from someone who has in fact had first-hand experience of S.Kriyananda (SK). No I have not read the court transcript.
We are by no means in disagreement. I'm in favor of embracing the human/sexual/animal side of our nature, not rejecting or denying it, or labeling it as un-spiritual. I think a progression beyond a morality which is always keen to viciously judge and label others behavior, is important.
The combination of sexuality and spirituality is still such a heated and confusing issue. Humans can have this divine, "pure" side to their nature, and also a base, lustful side - my feeling is that maybe it's time to cast aside the division between these two, and move towards greater integration. I know I have my divine moments, and my outright lustful ones too. I'm not ashamed.
But I think my point is, the mistakes we make are in identifying ourselves or others with certain qualities. We can, in ourselves, move towards the sattvic side too much, and try to forget about our more animal side or suppress it. That comes out wrong at some point.
We can also project onto others too much. It seems to me S.Kriyananda is a human being, a very gifted one, perhaps with considerable spiritual realization. But still a human being. People project their own image of how the divine guru should be, and maybe that images excludes sexuality, and when he acts otherwise, they are shocked and dissapointed.
In truth, we encompass all things, light and darkness, and perhaps we should shed our attachments to both. Is SK's true identity his body mind, the body-mind that had sex and perhaps could be accused of having acted in a way which was a little impure? Or is his true nature consciousness, God, divinity - whatever you want to call it? I think perhaps it's both, we live in a world of duality after all.
agreed!! To me as a yogini, sex is sacred. Even lust can be offered up and transmuted.
I don't think K.'s behavior was "impure." If anything it demonstrates he is a normal healthy straight male. Consider the situation:
You are an unmarried straight male. In the middle of the night, 3 beautiful young adult yoginis who adore you appear in your bedroom, take off their clothes and climb into your bed and begin caressing you. You:
a) call the police
b) make the yoginis leave
c) allow the yoginis to stay but make them put their clothes back on and stop touching you
d) allow the yoginis to have their way with you.
What would you do?! I mean, seriously. Option (c) is kind but assumes that sex with the yoginis would be "un-spiritual." Is it?
This is where "integration" comes (no pun intended) in. We are incarnate Spirit Who took form to experience life and Love. Unfortunately our culture has been deeply influenced by the gnostic idea that spirit is good, flesh is evil. I reject that. The flesh also is an expression of spirit. It's where your heart is that matters.
By the way, one of the things I love about Swami Kriyananda is that he brought kriya yoga to the Franciscan monks and nuns in Assisi. Like AYP and HOY, Kiryananda teaches that yoga is a spiritual technology that can be used by persons of any religion.
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Integrating Sattvic and Rajasic qualities
