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Satsang Cafe - General Questions on AYP

AYP Retreat Experience, Mensch Mill, PA - Oct 2010

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			$Prayer [/\]$

T O P I C R E V I E W
kami	Posted - Oct 25 2010 : 12:17:02 PM The retreat this past weekend did finally happen! Difficult to express in words everything that took place The leaders - Shanti, Kirtanman, Carson and Katrine were absolutely fabulous, steeped in silence and effortless in their actions of leading the group, that also arose out of the silence. The practices were powerful, and all of us left with more inner silence than we did arriving at the retreat. Although most of us had never met one another before this, we left with a sense of deep bonding and being part of something far bigger than us. Many of us will have meaningful friendships arising out of this. The sharings were moving, and the Q and A sessions positively wonderful. No question was too small or too big to ask or recieve an answer to. The bhakti permeating the whole place (which was also perfect, by the way) was palpable. In short, the first AYP retreat here was a huge success So much so, that we would love to make this an annual event. Thank you Shanti for organizing everything so beautifully. Thank you Katrine for your amazing presence (which is still with me), Carson for your childlike view of everything, and Doug for your extensive knowledge and kirtans. And thank you Yogani for making all this possible. kami
25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
mr_anderson	Posted - Nov 18 2010 : 1:42:44 PM thanks for sharing Kami. really inspiring :)
Katrine	Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 07:33:55 AM Hi Kami quote: Mostly, I'm completely flabbergasted that all this could've happened after ONE retreat - how is this even possible? Especially because I was so "insensitive" before this. I feel more "open" (for lack of a better description), like surrendering happened in that meditation room at Mensch Hill without being conscious of it.. because everyone was so accepting and loving. Perhaps it is because of that surrendering that everything else followed. Whatever the cause, I can say that that retreat has made the most difference on my path. The combination of activities at the retreat was "just right" for me, I think. While I don't know how long this will last - the silence, the bliss, the "minty" spine, I will live in it while it is happening . AT LAST!! Thank you so much for sharing this Kami. You are always with your Self - that's the beauty of it Your sharing......I keep seeing this long journey of the seed in Mother Earth......so much growth happens without us being aware of it. And then one day.....the sprout sticks it's head out of the soil and meets the sun, the rain, the air firsthand. That can never go back you know......I am so happy for you Kami
Parallax	Posted - Nov 16 2010 : 10:04:22 PM Hi Kami, I'm getting minty again just reading about your minty-ness... That weekend was honestly the most powerful experience I've ever had...no joke...ever Peace
kami	Posted - Nov 16 2010 : 1:56:10 PM Hi all, Just wanted to give an update.. Three weeks later, I'm still riding the "high" wave. What is so astonishing to me is this - I've been at this (spiritual transformation) in one or other form for years. Even after practising AYP methods for a year or so (the "full plate"), I did not think I had made much progress. Reading about people's experiences on the forum drove me to frustration at times. So much so that I stopped visiting the forum for a while. When I landed at the airport in PA, I had not had the time in the weeks leading up to it to think about the retreat. For a change, there were no expectations. Perhaps the thought was that I would leave feeling unfulfilled, like I had on other occasions. But, was I in for a MAJOR surprise! At the retreat, I didn't have energy surges or such experiences (I did have a profound vision of my ishta during the Saturday evening session). What I did a LOT was cry -this began on Saturday at lunch and continued into the following week. Have not the faintest idea what this was all about. Being the devotional type, I loved the kirtan sessions. And even though I had no prior knowledge of Insight Dialogue and didn't feel any openings during the ID sessions, I know now that they did happen (BTW, that book/teaching is exactly what I needed - thank you Katrine). When I left PA (with a raging sore throat, which I was told was purification), I thought it would be back to normal as soon as I landed home. But was I in for a bigger shock! It seems I have forgotten what "normal" is. The first two weeks, I went about my days in an altered state of mind - like I was here, but not really. I felt (very pleasantly) withdrawn from everyone, did not feel like talking much (a big shocker to those who know me ), and immersed in the bliss of expanded silence enveloping me on all sides and from within. A minty feeling appeared in my heart area and stayed constant for days, now migrating up or down my spine at random. I couldn't wait for my practice sessions twice a day - between practice sessions, I made it through, just waiting to get back to my meditation seat. I had two profound experiences of a buzzing/vibration in my spine that was ecstatic, once in the middle of the night after a daylong fast and the other at the temple on Diwali day. Last week, I finally began to feel more "connected" with people. Throughout this time, I've had a surreal sense of witnessing - everything happening on a movie screen. Since the retreat, I've had loss of motivation to pursue various things, but I know this will pass. I've begun to question (without actually making an effort) the importance of so many things I do. This too might pass.. Mostly, I'm completely flabbergasted that all this could've happened after ONE retreat - how is this even possible? Especially because I was so "under-sensitive" before this. I feel more "open" (for lack of a better description), like surrendering happened at some level in that meditation room at Mensch Hill without being conscious of it.. because everyone was so accepting and loving. Perhaps it is because of that surrendering that everything else followed. Whatever the cause, I can say that that retreat has made the most difference on my path. Clearly, the combination of activities at the retreat was "just right" for me. While I don't know how long this will last - the silence, the bliss, the "minty" spine, I will live in it while it is happening . AT LAST!! kami
bewell	Posted - Nov 06 2010 : 11:43:09 AM quote: Originally posted by DansInEveryWay "grati-opene-silencelove."
krcqimpro1	Posted - Nov 04 2010 : 12:49:33 PM Hi Everyone who led and participated in the retreat, I am so happy to read of the amazing experience you had in the first AYP retreat. This is giving me a lot of encouragement to put in more efforts to organise the first such retreat in India in 2011. I hope I can borrow ideas from the organisers/leaders of this event. Krish
DansInEveryWay	Posted - Nov 04 2010 : 12:07:22 PM one word permeates if i sit still for long enough: "grati-opene-silencelove." okay, four words. it's like wakeupneo said, looking for the way to put it, i fall silent. my heart is still glowing. love to you all. dan
purity	Posted - Nov 02 2010 : 09:06:26 AM Dear All, My Heartiest gratitude for such a wonderful gift of ecstatic inner silence! I would trade anthing for a similar experience again. I really feel very fortunate to be a part of the retreat and so early in my AYP journey. As Yogani says," Nothing will look the same after retreat". It is so true! I have to share my practice sessions have reached a new dimension and I don't have words to describe it. I felt sheer joy being in "inside dialogue" with you all in so many different ways. Through those loving glances, giggles, laughs, chanting, crying and just the presence of each one of you. And looks like we are having another one on 2nd weekend of Dec in NJ, if we have Shanti and Kirtanman to lead us. Love & Peace, Putity
yogani	Posted - Nov 02 2010 : 07:08:09 AM quote: Originally posted by Victor I would have loved to have been there and if ever a retreat is held on the west coast please count me in! Pa is not out of the question for me as I have family in Philadelphia but it does take time to plan a trip out there. I would love to meet all of you face to face sometime! Hi Victor: Sooner or later we will be having AYP retreats on the west coast USA. We finally have planning contacts in SF, LA and Seattle, and someone just volunteered for Oregon. See the "Meditation Groups, Training & Retreats" link in the top left column of this page. The Kripalu retreat in western Massachusetts next March will be a 5 day one (the biggest one yet), and would be worth the trip from the west coast. There is a link for it in the top left border here. If you'd like to get involved in planning a retreat for the west coast USA, let me know via email. We now have the ability to provide leadership for AYP retreats (small or large) anywhere. All the best! The guru is in you.
Victor	Posted - Nov 02 2010 : 06:09:28 AM I would have loved to have been there and if ever a retreat is held on the west coast please count me in! Pa is not out of the question for me as I have family in Philadelphia but it does take time to plan a trip out there. I would love to meet all of you face to face sometime!
cosmic	Posted - Nov 02 2010 : 01:15:20 AM Hi bewell This is another beautiful chapter in your neverending story quote: Originally posted by bewell During the next pause, she said, in a very loud voice, with a cry of pain: "I prayed to Jesus for a miracle and all I got was silence." I love this! I feel the same way, but without the pain. Silence is a miracle and a beautiful gift. May all our hearts explode together in Love and Silence. _/\_ Love cosmic
American Baba	Posted - Nov 01 2010 : 10:58:55 PM "I bow to the lotus feet of American Baba" ...as American Baba bows to the Guru in You - Namaste!
CarsonZi	Posted - Nov 01 2010 : 1:21:22 PM Beautiful bewell So great to have you posting here with some regularity again. You were missed Love!
bewell	Posted - Nov 01 2010 : 1:09:30 PM quote: Originally posted by Kirtanman Reading posts from the four of us, it may seem as though we have very different styles and views. IRL (In Real Life) --- it was quite beautifully, harmoniously clear that we each and all simply express direct, ongoing experience of the Silence manifesting as Divine Love with the unique flavors that every "person" brings to any situation -- and -- at essence, we, and our ongoing experiencing, are consciously-presently One (with All). Everyone got to see what "it" (whatever we may call the end-yet-never-ending result-cycling of ongoing practices-awakening-liberation-now) looks like --- manifesting in the form(s) of four people, from all over the planet, originally - with backgrounds, personalities and tendencies about as diverse as could be possible to find in any four people. Awareness Presence Love Happiness Peace Acceptance Fun Stillness Silence But only 24/7, and only in every possible situation. Am I saying that Carson, Shanti, Katrine and I exemplified these things? Not exactly; I'm saying that the willingness of life itself, opened the four of us, over time, so that the Silence and Loving could shine through as those qualities -- the qualities of the One that are equally available in-as us all, because at essence, "us all" is, of course, One. Which brings me to: All Participants: Thank you all, so much, for your willingness to open to, and drop into, the Silence we each and all ever actually are now (whether Silent-Silence, or Silence-in-Motion, as form, sound, all-this) -- that willingness, combined with that ability -- is what created the beautiful, exceptionally powerful, shared experience of last weekend's retreat, for us all. This is because the "place we're in now" is nothing more nor less than simple reality -- that reality that we each and all ever actually are now, and which is simply veiled by the disturbances of limited-mind-dreaming -- and which is revealed by practices and continuous opening.... This is the beautiful reality of it all, that everyone there seemed to have (at least) glimpses of, over the course of the weekend -- and from where I stood, sat, laughed, etc.'d - many seemed to have a fair amount of true immersion in the easy flow of it all, as well. We are all very much in this together; we all are this together. The retreat was a weekend-long snapshot of what that can be like, for each and all of us, in experience, A miracle than can manifest as each and all of us, now. A miracle to which we are all always invited now. So True! Something happened to me outside the public library about a half hour ago that mirrors this truth. I was waiting for the doors to open at 12 noon. Another person walked up, an African Amierican woman older than me. She was neatly, colorfully dressed. She talked loudly to strangers. It was a constant chatter. To one passing man she asked,"Do you think you are crazy?" And she kept talking. To a little child: "Oh you're eating a starburst. I don't eat those because I don't want to get cavities. That is when I saw my in. It was clear to me that she was a heart reader. My clue was that although I almost never eat starburst candy, I had eaten one that morning that I found on the sidewalk, and as I was sucking I noticed anxiety about my dental health. So I could relate. I told her the story. She asked me how many cavities I had, and I told her. I asked how many she had and she told me. I was voluntarily joining this woman in what must have been seen by others as a bit crazy. But I had a goal. Insight! There were pauses in the conversation. During the next pause, she said, in a very loud voice, with a cry of pain: "I prayed to Jesus for a miracle and all I got was silence." I looked in her longing eyes and I said, "there is silence and there is SILENCE. The second kind is a divine gift." Then she started talking about the time her "heart exploded" and she thought she was really going to die. I told her I knew what that was like. She said it scared her so she did not like to remember it. I said I could related and I always knew I could return to the second kind of silence. I noticed a little gathering of about 10 people watching. The doors opened and we went in, and she went her way and I went mine. Later we were in another line together and she ignored me. Not impolitely. She was in silence. I was intrigued by her as an individual, and thought I would like to talk with her more. I told her, "I am intrigued by you." She replied in a loud voice, "I'm intrigued by everybody... all people everywhere." That is when she taught me to let go of that particular relationship and return to my silence. I left the library in grateful tears of letting go.
wakeupneo	Posted - Nov 01 2010 : 09:06:01 AM hahaha, Richard nice! I bow to the lotus feet of American Baba quote: Originally posted by American Baba Although I don�t think I can say anything that hasn�t already been said, I too want to express my appreciation to the presenters and to everyone with whom I had the privilege of sharing silence. I wish I could give an award to Shanti for the delicious Indian dinner she cooked for those of us who came in a day early and for her having thought of everything in organizing this event. We were well cared for. It was a truly wonderful experience and I am very happy to see the energy around having more of them! American Baba (Formerly R108)
American Baba	Posted - Nov 01 2010 : 03:15:43 AM Although I don�t think I can say anything that hasn�t already been said, I too want to express my appreciation to the presenters and to everyone with whom I had the privilege of sharing silence. I wish I could give an award to Shanti for the delicious Indian dinner she cooked for those of us who came in a day early and for her having thought of everything in organizing this event. We were well cared for. It was a truly wonderful experience and I am very happy to see the energy around having more of them! American Baba (Formerly R108)
Kirtanman	Posted - Oct 30 2010 : 9:51:53 PM Hey All, Regarding the retreat: WOW was it Awesome --- and WOW was it unique, in my experience. I'd like to add my whole-heart-felt gratitude to, and for, all who made the most wonderful retreat that I've ever been privileged to be a part of, possible. Yogani, for starting it all. Kami, for desiring-manifesting the retreat. Shanti, for "infrastructuring like there's no tomorrow" (which, of course, there isn't .... ) -- as someone who pretty much continuously misplaces things (up to, and including, Carson and Cosmic .... ) - I stand in happy awe of the skill with which the well-oiled retreat machine hummed along in perfection -- allowing the rest of us to immerse and enjoy. Thank you, Shanti. Carson, Shanti & Katrine for being the coolest, kindest, wisest, most present, most aware and most-loving session/discussion co-leaders I could have never-imagined. Reading posts from the four of us, it may seem as though we have very different styles and views. IRL (In Real Life) --- it was quite beautifully, harmoniously clear that we each and all simply express direct, ongoing experience of the Silence manifesting as Divine Love with the unique flavors that every "person" brings to any situation -- and -- at essence, we, and our ongoing experiencing, are consciously-presently One (with All). Simply Put: the inherent and conscious wholeness, unity and harmony of our individual and collective experiencing was wonderfully clear, and helped to make all discussions "public and private" (we each had lots of 1:1 talks with various people) part of the "one beautiful taste" of the retreat. Everyone got to see what "it" (whatever we may call the end-yet-never-ending result-cycling of ongoing practices-awakening-liberation-now) looks like --- manifesting in the form(s) of four people, from all over the planet, originally - with backgrounds, personalities and tendencies about as diverse as could be possible to find in any four people. Awareness Presence Love Happiness Peace Acceptance Fun Stillness Silence But only 24/7, and only in every possible situation. Am I saying that Carson, Shanti, Katrine and I exemplified these things? Not exactly; I'm saying that the willingness of life itself, opened the four of us, over time, so that the Silence and Loving could shine through as those qualities -- the qualities of the One that are equally available in-as us all, because at essence, "us all" is, of course, One. Which brings me to: All Participants: Thank you all, so much, for your willingness to open to, and drop into, the Silence we each and all ever actually are now (whether Silent-Silence, or Silence-in-Motion, as form, sound, all-this) -- that willingness, combined with that ability -- is what created the beautiful, exceptionally powerful, shared experience of last weekend's retreat, for us all. As Katrine said: outside of our sessions, there were no leaders. And as I said in our last session: Many feel that those of us who've been at this a while, and are living the benefits of the results of practices, view those who "haven't made it yet" in very specific ways -- acutely aware of "where they are" in relation to the "final goal", and so on -- when exactly the opposite is true: We know and see that there are no levels; no such thing as "not making it yet", and we know and see the One shining through all of us, in and as regular life -- and we're living proof that everything promised in all the world's sacred teachings are equally and fully available for us all --- and that the realizations thereof don't preclude regular life --- they enhance, sanctify and beautify it. This is because the "place we're in now" is nothing more nor less than simple reality -- that reality that we each and all ever actually are now, and which is simply veiled by the disturbances of limited-mind-dreaming -- and which is revealed by practices and continuous opening. This is the beautiful reality of it all, that everyone there seemed to have (at least) glimpses of, over the course of the weekend -- and from where I stood, sat, laughed, etc.'d - many seemed to have a fair amount of true immersion in the easy flow of it all, as well. We are all very much in this together; we all are this together. The retreat was a weekend-long snapshot of what that can be like, for each and all of us, in experience, which some of us enjoyed in experience, and others enjoyed as a combination of observation and experience. Every person there brought beautiful light and presence to the shared experience; I'm truly grateful to each of you, and truly enjoyed - and enjoy - "meeting and retreating" with each and all of you (and all, and each -- if you're reading this, you're part of it all, now. ) I've truly never experienced anything like it, in a group setting. Awareness Presence Love Happiness Peace Acceptance Fun Stillness Silence ... not just from the four at-times-leaders --- but co-created as the AYP 2010 Retreat -- by, for and as each and all of us. This is sometimes, when all goes well, exemplified by many (maybe) of the leaders/participants of a retreat --but I have never before seen it perfectly exemplified by all at-times-leaders and participants of a retreat -- especially not for the entire retreat. WOW. Good job, all --- and again: Thank You, All. _/\_ Someone commented that this retreat was "Real, genuine." Yes. Exactly. No one with a fancy name, or followers --- no organizational structure; no doctrines, no formal teachings ---- just Silence, Bliss Consciousness and Outpouring of Divine Love --- outpouring as 22 friends, gathering for a weekend - and by letting Silence drive -- enjoying a miracle, together, as One. A miracle that's as ongoing as we allow it to be, now. A miracle than can manifest as each and all of us, now. A miracle to which we are all always invited now. The retreat has no limits in time. The retreat has no limits in space. Simply Put: The Retreat Is In You. _/\_ Wholeheartedly, Kirtanman PS- And thanks to all, who offered so many kind words, at so many times, and in so many ways ---- the honor, joy, privilege and fun was all ... well ... ours, actually. "This simple creed of Love is all I follow." ~LIVE, Simple Creed
sagebrush	Posted - Oct 30 2010 : 11:11:56 AM thanks for sharing the photos. this may not make sense to anyone but me, but it is less stressful on my thinking seeing different faces...some that post here and went to the ayp retreat. in my thinking sometimes it is like just one person as I read the posts... I can laugh really at myself and see how incredibly off my thinking is... also, everyone looks peaceful and accepting of what is from this perspective and the location looks beautiful and comfortable. thanks for sharing.. sagebrush
CarsonZi	Posted - Oct 30 2010 : 11:06:17 AM Hi Holy We were doing a bit of a combination between maha mudra and janu sirsasana. We would start with janu sirsasana and then finish with a short maha mudra. The cameraman was Rattan. Asanas were optional to participate in so not everyone was doing the asana portion of the practices. Everyone did the sitting practices though. Love!
Holy	Posted - Oct 30 2010 : 10:15:31 AM The asana pics are very funny =P 1-2 of them look like you were doing maha mudra, is it correct? And yeah, who was the camera "man"? ^^ the one even witness to the practice phases =)
Rattan	Posted - Oct 30 2010 : 09:11:58 AM Most of the participants have already seen this. But for others that wants to get a slight flavour of the retreat, have a look at this Photo Blog: http://aypretreat2010alburtis.blogspot.com/
CarsonZi	Posted - Oct 29 2010 : 12:54:03 PM Hey bewell, hope you arewell quote: Originally posted by bewell Sounds something like the jail yoga classes yesterday. The quality attention in the room, the eye contact, when I shared about the ayp retreat and the basics of "deep meditation" was palpable. I too have found that the "quality of presence" has drastically increased since the retreat. Not only evident in my classes, but at home with "the wife and kids" and other relationships (like work ones) as well. I credit learning Insight Dialogue mostly for this, but obviously that is not the only reason things have become more "alive" with Presence. quote: Originally posted by bewell I found myself discussing the options for coming back every day and helping create a kind of retreat. I also thought about what it would be like if our retreat was illegal and we were all put in jail together -- wouldn't that be great! Never before have I thought of going to jail as "great", but there is a first time for everything.... I would indeed love to be "locked up" with all of you. quote: Originally posted by bewell As we discussed over dinner one evening, part of the work there is gaining rapport with the guards, and yesterday might have been the best ever. One of the guards asked about what the yoga practices involve, and I quoted you, Carson, saying, "accept and relax." And that is when she opened up and said that her doctor had recommended yoga because she has been recently diagnosed with MS. Awesome. Just. Awesome. I'm sure that you are just the man for the job out there. May you continue to help spread the beauty of Inner Silence through your work. Love you man Love!
bewell	Posted - Oct 29 2010 : 12:03:42 PM quote: Originally posted by CarsonZi Tonight's class was, well, perfect. I have all new students, none of which have been to any of my classes before, and several of whom have never even been into a yoga studio before. Sounds something like the jail yoga classes yesterday. The quality attention in the room, the eye contact, when I shared about the ayp retreat and the basics of "deep meditation" was palpable. I found myself discussing the options for coming back every day and helping create a kind of retreat. I also thought about what it would be like if our retreat was illegal and we were all put in jail together -- wouldn't that be great! As we discussed over dinner one evening, part of the work there is gaining rapport with the guards, and yesterday might have been the best ever. One of the guards asked about what the yoga practices involve, and I quoted you, Carson, saying, "accept and relax." And that is when she opened up and said that her doctor had recommended yoga because she has been recently diagnosed with MS.
Rattan	Posted - Oct 28 2010 : 05:23:49 AM Hi everyone. It took me a bit longer to get home, and after catching up on work this morning, the first time I get to read what you all have said about the retreat. I do not have words. I can only say amen to all the comments you have already made about the retreat. It was truly an amazing experience for me too. One of the things that I have experienced was this feeling of being "home". I have never before felt so welcomed and totally accepted in any other setting before. Everything said in the group discussions, and in private conversations, resonated deeply within me as "truth". I took some photo's and short video of part of a group discussion that I want to put into a special private Blog of the event. Only those who attended will receive the blog's address. I want to ask anyone that have photos and video or sound recordings that I could perhaps also post there, to send to me. Thanks again for everyone there, Shanti for inviting me and for Yogani who made eveything possible.
Medea	Posted - Oct 28 2010 : 04:46:18 AM Wow, I'm so happy for you all! I hope that in the future, we'll have some of these retreats in Europe as well.