Note: For the complete lessons, see the AYP Books.

Lesson 5 - Blocking male ejaculation – Putting on the training wheels

From: Yogani
Date: Sun Feb 1, 2004 4:52pm

New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of the
AdvancedYogaPractices main group web archive, as previous lessons are
prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "Why This Discussion?"
It is also recommended you read from the beginning of this tantra
yoga archive. The first lesson is, "What is tantra?"


In the last lesson we talked about the holdback method. It is pretty
straightforward. There is only one catch to it. Many men have little
or no control over their orgasm. And in the heat of the moment they
don't want any control. The semen wants to go, and that is it. Sex is
a mad dash for that, and everything else tends to fall by the
wayside.

So, how do we get around this? The key is in altering the habit of
the inner neurology of orgasm. We do this by giving the male
neurology a familiarity with a different way of traveling the road of
stimulation. In doing so, we find a different experience of pleasure,
the experience of divine ecstasy coming up through the nervous
system. In time, divine ecstasy becomes more charming than the
jerking and lurching of genital orgasm, and we become motivated to
spend more time in the habit of preorgasmic stimulation. We then have
the choice – preorgasmic tantric sex or genital orgasm. Maybe in a
single session we'd like to have both, beginning with a long session
of the former and finally ending with the latter. Once in a while,
why not? That is having the cake and eating it too. Of course, be
doing that too often (like more than every week or two) and the cake
will be eating up your yoga.

In principle, the holdback method alone can provide the necessary
training for the man. We will talk about the woman's evolving role in
tantric sex in the next lesson. She is very important, obviously. But
first, we have to deliver her a motivated tantric man. Without that,
there won't be much tantric sex going on. That is why we are focusing
on the man first.

Is the holdback method enough for training the man's orgasmic
response? Maybe for some it is, especially if they are experienced
and have been working seriously on extending their orgasm already.
But for many, the holdback method will not be enough.

We will now talk about blocking male ejaculation. It is an ancient
tantric method with a long history of success. It is simple enough to
do.

When orgasm is about to come on, the man puts one or two fingers
(usually index and/or middle finger) at the perineum, presses inward
and forward against the pubic bone, and blocks the urethra channel
that the semen is about to come through. The orgasm still occurs, but
the semen is blocked from leaving the body. If the man lets go too
soon, the semen can still escape. If he holds the block for a minute
or two and then lets go, the semen will be reabsorbed and none will
escape.

Blocking can be done by reaching to the perineum from either the
front or the back. In tantric lovemaking with a partner, the man can
reach from the back and block his ejaculation if he has slipped and
gone too far with stimulation. He still has orgasm and will be done
with sex for a while, but he has blocked the loss of semen from his
orgasm.

Beyond the mechanics of stopping the exit of semen from the body, the
blocking method has several other aspects related to training the
orgasmic response of the man.

First, having an orgasm with the ejaculation blocked is not nearly as
pleasurable as having one with a free flow of semen. If a man's
bhakti brings him to engage in blocking most of his ejaculations,
then there will also be a gradual shift in his motivation from
wanting to go to orgasm to wanting to stay in front of it. So,
blocking, besides stopping semen from leaving, provides an incentive
for a man to stay in front of orgasm. Why go there if it is going to
be less pleasurable than continuing in preorgasmic sex and climbing
that stairway to heaven with our lover?

Second, given what has just been said, blocking is not something that
will be needed forever. It is a voluntary, temporary measure, like
having training wheels on a bicycle. Aren't you glad to hear that?
Bicycles with training wheels are not much fun at all. We want to get
them off as soon as possible. So, we have an additional incentive to
train our orgasmic response, and reduce our reliance on the training
wheels. Once we learn to stay preorgasmic in sex for long periods, we
won't need blocking very often. By the time we get to that stage,
having genital orgasm may be part of sex only after an hour or two in
union, or maybe we will forget about it completely.

Forget about orgasm? Yes, the experiences in long tantric sex can
become so profound that we can forget about orgasm completely. Hard
to believe, but it is true. Tantric sex can be that good. And it is
good advanced yoga practice too! Over time, the importance of the
genital orgasm will fade to the background. We can still have it if
we want it, but it will become less attractive as our divine ecstasy
expands beyond it. Sex will still be good, but in a different way.
Sex will become an expression of our overall rising enlightenment,
rather than the obsessive needful thing it has been in the past.

Now we should talk about male masturbation.

It was mentioned that blocking can be done from the front or the
back. If a man is masturbating, the blocking can come in from the
front. Given the fact that the total semen expelled in masturbation
in the lifetime of an average man exceeds the amount expelled in
lovemaking manyfold, we should really talk about it.

Masturbation is the greatest expeller of semen for many men.
Masturbation also happens to be an advantageous time to be training
the male orgasm. It is a good time to practice the equivalent of the
holdback method, holding back before orgasm over and over again,
and permanently building the staying power to a high level. It is
also a good time to practice blocking when orgasm comes. So, all the
elements are there. Stimulation, pauses, and blocking as necessary.
Only the partner is missing. Interestingly, this is not far from what
we are doing in the traditional methods of mulabandha, siddhasana,
and other advanced yoga practices – stimulating our sexual energy
systematically up through our nervous system.

So, is tantric masturbation a kind of yoga practice? Yes, it can be
as long as it remains preorgasmic. It is also an ideal self-training
ground for a man to prepare for tantric sex with a partner.

None of this is to promote excessive sexual activity, or more
masturbation than is already going on. It is just to add an awareness
of tantric methods that can be incorporated into what we are already
doing in our sex life. If we do so intelligently, dramatic changes in
our experience of sex can be achieved, and our overall advanced yoga
practices will be enhanced significantly.

The guru is in you.

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