Note: For the complete lessons, with additions, see the AYP Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living Books.

Lesson T46 - Dialog on Tantra Practice

From: Yogani
Date: Fri Aug 12, 2005  4:09 pm

New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of this tantra yoga archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "What is tantra yoga?"

Q1: I don't fully understand vajroli even after reading the AYP tantra lesson and the forum thread on it.

http://www.aypsite.com/T30.html
http://www.aypsite.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=388

At the moment I am avoiding having orgasm during sexual activities and when I get close I simply hold it in by using some (self invented) variation of mulabandha. During intercourse I also spinal breathe and pull the sexual energy up into my upper channels because it feels so much better than normal sex. Is this vajroli?

Is there something else I should be doing to maximize my spiritual transformation? Sometimes I slip and have the occasional orgasm and am always surprised when I still feel flow in my spinal cord as I thought I would feel a loss of energy or diminished ecstatic conductivity, but this hasn't been the case. Why is this, and how often is it ok to have an orgasm? Maybe I am being too strict?


A1: It is not necessary to be so strict. Your intention (bhakti) will carry you forward in tantra. Sounds like you are making good progress. If you use holdback and blocking (assuming daily sitting practices are going on also) the process of tantra will continue automatically. Orgasm with blocking is like orgasm with vajroli -- same effect, and much easier.

Vajroli on the gross physical level is learning to suck back up through the penis into the bladder using a combination of mulabandha/asvini and uddiyana/nauli (creating a negative pressure in the bladder). This gets interpreted as a macho thing in much of the yogic lore -- sexual power and all that. But vajroli is much more than this. Much less, physically speaking. With the rise of ecstatic conductivity, vajroli become an ongoing micro-movement where sexual essences are continuously processed upward through the neuro-biology. The methods mentioned in the first paragraph above will give rise to this without having to learn the gross physical vajroli. This is the message given in the lessons and the recent forum postings. You are having some experience with this already. If you are sensing energy rising up in orgasm or at any other time, you can be sure that subtle vajroli is coming up. It is part of the rise of ecstatic conductivity. Eventually, it will be with you at all times. This is ongoing ecstatic conductivity. Combine that naturally with rising inner silence, and you have the enlightenment equation. End result -- unshakable inner silence, ecstatic bliss and outpouring divine love!


Q2: Thanks for clearing that up. So it is ok to have the occasional orgasm then? I am confused then. I thought the goal, from reading the AYP site, was ultimately to never have an orgasm? I gathered that if you ever got too close, you were to simply hold it in or use the blocking techniques if you really got into trouble. I thought that if you had orgasms during sex, ecstatic conductivity would diminish. Could you possibly shed some light on where am I going wrong with this line of thinking?


A2: Orgasm once every week or two is not going to hurt you, especially if you are using blocking. Eventually sex becomes internalized, but that has more to do with practices than having an iron will. Inner sex becomes more enjoyable than outer sex, so we are drawn to it, and that is what drives the transformation. Even then, outer sex remains an option.

You have the right spirit of it in your thinking. Just don't be too hard on yourself, creating stress about it. It is a gradual process of transformation, and forcing it is not necessarily the best thing. If you follow your bhakti, favor your practices and take it easy, it will happen. Just like it is okay to have thoughts in meditation, it is okay to be human in our sexuality. As long as we know to favor the practice we are doing, we will be fine in the long run. In time, it gets a lot easier and sex is no longer such a bugaboo. It gradually becomes an inner fountain of ecstatic bliss, and that is much more interesting than carnal sex. Then it is flowing out to everyone in the form of healing energy and good deeds. As you know, that is one of the major themes that emerges in the Secrets of Wilder story.

Sex turns into ecstatic bliss and then turns into something that can benefit the entire world. Pretty spectacular, isn't it? It is real... and definitely worth doing, no matter how long it takes... It does take some time.


Q3: OK, I think I have it. The only problem is I have been enjoying not having orgasms. I find I like the way I feel more after sex. I find we are having a lot more sex and on some occasions the energy has come up to my heart and face and it felt so euphoric, loving and sensual, way beyond orgasm. I thought that this experience was the ultimate goal. My girlfriend felt it too, though she is not into yoga like me. It does help however to know to not be too strict about it and think I am setting myself back when I do succumb to an orgasm.

The only point I wanted to clarify with what you last wrote was when I do have the occasional orgasm should I block those too and not let them go all the way? Sorry, not trying to be thick headed here, I just want to understand for going forward.


A3: It sounds like a very good thing you and your girlfriend have going there, especially if you are both motivated to continue in relations that way over time. It is spiritual practice. As for blocking or not blocking orgasms, you will do yourself an energy favor if you can do it. But if it does not happen and we are talking about a once a week or two occurrence, don't lose any sleep over it. The long tantric cultivations of sexual energy before orgasm will more than make up for it. Enjoy!


Q4: Thanks for your patience and explaining. That helps a lot.


A4: It is my pleasure to help. This is what AYP is all about -- the process of self-discovery and moving with increasing confidence into stable self-directed practice that will produce profound results.

The guru is in you.

Note: For detailed instructions on the methods of tantra in relation to the broad scope of yoga practices and the enlightenment process, see the AYP Tantra book.

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