Note: For the complete lessons, with additions, see the AYP Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living Books.

Lesson T22 - Q&A – Kundalini and sexual attraction for guru and God

From: Yogani
Date: Tue Mar 30, 2004 11:27am

New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of this tantra yoga archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "What is tantra yoga?"

Q: I have not felt sexually attracted to anyone in years, which is odd because even as a small child I was attracted to men. I had an active kundalini, even back then. Now I can see men and think they are attractive, but there is no libidinal flow/response to them within me. Men find me attractive, but it's like I see their energy and have absolutely no desire to be with them. The only one who comes close to being what I want is my guru, and I don't want a physical union with him. Is this all just part of the process? or is it something to do with not grounding enough?

A: It is a normal process of transformation having many stages. Sex is an important part of yoga, particularly in relation to the evolution of kundalini energy. Since your kundalini has been active since way back, this is drawing your energy and attention up and away from external sex. It is not absolutely necessary that it all go up. The energy can go both ways. It depends on background and inclinations. For those with energy wanting to go for sexual relations, we have this tantra group to give methods for use in sexual relations in support of yoga. As discussed previously, celibacy is not a prerequisite for success. Preservation and cultivation of sexual energy are, and there are multiple means through which that can be accomplished.

In successful yoga, the range can be anything from tantric sex, to non-tantric sex in moderation, to celibacy. It is really up to you. If the energy is going up and you want to go with it, that is okay. If it is going up and you want come back down for sex, that is okay too. Just understand the tantra yoga aspects of sex and you will be fine. Some people are inclined to sexual excess, and that is not very good for yoga, and it has to be addressed in some fashion for spiritual progress to occur. It seems everyone is in a different place with sex. There is no need for judgement about it. Be who you are, and, however sex may be manifesting in you, favor the corresponding means to bring sex into support of your yoga.

Another thing - the spiritual path becomes very sexy as ecstasy rises with kundalini. You probably know this already. The whole body can be in an ongoing quasi-orgasmic state any time once the nervous system is purified to a certain level. One devotional thought can set it off. We are living ecstatically then, and running to our meditation seat (siddhasana!) every day. It is a divine romance between the yogi/yogini and God, with lots of juicy sex going on up and down inside. Enlightened celibates have extremely active sex lives with God. For them, the passion never stops.

Martin Buber's "Ecstatic Confessions" is a good anthology of diary testimonials throughout history on the subject of ecstatic relationships with God. Ecstatic bliss flowing profusely in the cloistered convents of medieval Europe! Here is Buber's book on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/081560422X/104-2344480-4750352?v=glance

It is also good to read Rumi, Saint John of the Cross, and Saint Francis of Assisi for personal descriptions of what hot romance with God is like. Blistering bhakti! Links for those are in the links section here and in the main group also.

None of this means you have to give up sex for a so-called divine romance. It evolves more or less naturally in all of us. Sex and passion have a broad spectrum in us, and it is easy to be doing one thing and wondering why we are not doing something else. The options are endless. It is a matter of what we want. If we want God, and keep on with that desire (bhakti), we will keep moving higher somehow.

Maybe the "man" you want is "God." If a person symbolizes that, then you may be drawn to him. It is normal enough for someone in a kundalini transition (even a very long term one) to be attracted to a guru. Gurus in-the-flesh are affected by that, and many have taken liberties with their disciples, often at great cost to their credibility. It doesn't really do the disciple(s) any good either. I think you understand that. God is in you, and men are always going to be men.

On the other hand, you may find someone you love, get married and raise a family. Then yoga will be carried on within the framework of a busy family life. That's the route I took. It is a common outcome on the spectrum of romance. Love can carry us forward in so many ways, if we will but let it.

When the nervous system is open, it is all love, and there is not so much preoccupation with sex and personal romance anymore. Then it is about divine romance -- with love flowing out all the time, not needing anything in return.

The guru is in you.

Note:  For detailed instructions on the methods of tantra in relation to the broad scope of yoga practices and the enlightenment process, see the AYP Tantra book.

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