Lesson 99 - Q&A – Practices, front end and back end

From: Yogani
Date: Wed Jan 28, 2004 0:39pm

New Members: It is recommended you read from the beginning of the web
archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first
lesson is, "Why This Discussion?"

Q: Want to give you some feedback and seek some furthur guidance from
you.

Firstly, the pranayama had an almost immediate calming effect,
reducing the intensity and wildness of the emotional storms I was
experiencing. I am currently, and so far, comfortable with the
practices up to and excluding Yoni Mudra kumbhaka. Comfortable in the
sense that whilst the practices are still somewhat clunky I have not
been experiencing any surges and imbalances.

I did try Yoni Mudra Kumbhaka for one day, and 3 days later after a
'severe' emotional rollercoaster ride it felt as though my entire
nervous system had been fried - I was utterly exhausted. So I have
very quickly backed off from that for the time being.

Secondly questions:

Firstly, whilst I have had what I could describe as 2 peak experiences
(1 of these before I had had ever meditated) - I do not experience
feelings of bliss or anything similar. For the most part mediation is
just 'meditation'. If I slip into any form of expectation – it then
very quickly becomes an excercise in frustration. Sugestions,
comments?

Secondly, I am in general able to direct energy at will, including
Kundalini yet my 'body' seems unable to cope with the energy if I do
so. Kind of like having a race-car with no oil in the engine. If you
start it, the engine just blows. Again any suggestion or comments you
may have would be most welcome.

A: I am very glad that the spinal breathing helped. It is a wonderful
practice, not only for balancing, but for gradually and safely
awakening the shiva/shakti union in the sushumna and everywhere --
experienced as the rise of ecstatic conductivity. And, of course,
spinal breathing is a powerful enhancer of meditation as well, a
primary reason we do it.

If you have taken on mulabandha, sambhavi and siddhasana in such a
short time with no overloads, you are doing really fantastic. Yoni
mudra kumbhaka is another big step. It turns up the volume on
everything. Even just a few minutes of it goes a long way. When you
feel like trying it again, just do one repetition and see what
happens. There can be a delayed reaction with kumbhaka, as your
experience confirms. You have to feel your way along with it very
carefully. For now you are taking the pause that refreshes. There is
no rush. You will know when you are ready to try again.

This business of "directing energy" wherever can be a two-edged
sword. It can bring some ecstasy, or it can fry us inside. It is
really premature to be doing it if it leads to the difficulties you
describe. It is questionable if it should be done at all outside the
structure of practices, though we all are curious to see what we can
do inside.

Whether you are moving energy yourself or in structured practices (as
in bandhas, mudras, siddhasana and kumbhaka), what is needed is much
more "global purification" of the nervous system. This is done with
meditation and spinal breathing. If meditation is rough (boring,
frustrating, uncomfortable, etc.) at times it is a sign that much
cleansing is happening -- the very thing that is necessary to remove
the source of the blockages you have been running into. The
discomfort can be minimized by following the guidelines for practice.
Check the early lessons on how to deal with the various things that
can come up in meditation. Remember, expectations are regarded as any
other thoughts that come up in meditation, and we easily go back to
the mantra. Always take enough time when coming out of meditation. If
you don't, there can be some irritability or other discomfort during
the day.

Meditation is where you will get the most done to allow you to
eventually do more on the back end of practices (yoni mudra, etc.)
So, consider doing more on the front end of practices to help you on
the back end.

There is much you can do to enhance the depth, power and smoothness
of your meditation. The length of meditation now is okay. Twenty
minutes is optimal for most people. If you put asanas in front of
pranayama, that will give you an extra step going inward, and help
smooth things too. Then, if pranayama is smooth, you can inch it up
in time to take you even deeper before you get into meditation. Try
adding five minutes to pranayama. If it is smooth for a few weeks,
then try another five minutes. Spinal breathing will not only help
meditation, but "direct energy" in a more balanced way for inner
awakening. Do your energy directing up and down the sushumna between
third eye and root in spinal breathing and you will accomplish the
most, with the least chance of problems.

If you can get to ten minutes asanas, twenty minutes pranayama and
twenty minutes meditation, you will be doing global house cleaning by
the truckload. If all that stays smooth, you will be pouring lots of
oil into that racecar of yours -- cleaning and lubricating your
nervous system to enable more flow of prana. You will know it is
working when you can do yoni mudra kumbhaka with no emotional
upheavals, but ecstasy instead. You will experience more pleasure
from the other practices as well. It could take a while to get to
that stage, but you will be on the right track if you focus more on
the front end practices. You seem to be a bit ahead of your nervous
system with your energy flows. So you have to go back and take care
of cleaning out the vehicle. There really isn't any way around it,
unless you want to go the Gopi Krishna route of having too much
energy running around inside, and spending years in difficulties,
until finally the nervous system is burned clean inside and the smoke
clears. That isn't a very good short cut. It can be much more fun
than that.

The guru is in you.

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